From a woman who had no father......
From: a Woman who had no father
To: Someone of Importance and at times does not understand
Dear Someone of Importance:
Women are a frail creature, especially one who has been abused or one without a father figure. Now mind you men will appear in and out of her life, often it may not be to her choosing, but she must press on. The mate that her mother chooses may have other intentions in mind. I have seen many a man go to prison for sleeping with the girlfriend’s daughter. In my case however, this has not happened. So many young women who have not had fathers in their life are on a search. They are looking to be completed. What these types of woman need are acceptance, patience, understanding, and love. This has to be provided by her to herself as well as anyone who enters into her life. Look at acceptance for a second.
Acceptance:
• Receipt,
• Reception,
• Receiving,
• Recognition,
• Approval,
• Agreement,
• Tolerance,
• Acknowledgement
The pros of acceptance are nice fluffy words that have strong meaning to someone who has not had a presence of love, from a male figure or anyone for that matter, at an early childhood. This woman/young lady/girl must feel these things (these emotions) before she can move forward. It may take ten times to give her your approval, be in agreement with her, or acknowledge her. It is going to take ten more times for her to get it. She has to fill a cup that is completely empty. From the time her mother pushed her away for another man’s love to her father promising to come and see her and never show up is years of lack of approval that will have to be replenished and fill that empty cup. This girl/young lady/woman is scarred and it will take time for her to heal. If those ten times ten things are not provided to her, she will become and feel rejected. It takes a lot for her to come from denial, emotional and psychological elimination before she can move forward.
What she feels/sees when her cup is empty
The antonym
Rejection
• negative response,
• refusal,
• denial,
• denunciation,
• dismissal,
• elimination
This is where patience is involved
Patience
• endurance,
• staying power,
• tolerance,
• lack of complaint,
• persistence
When patience for the woman’s behavior of her actions is not there, she does not feel complete. Her ideology for life builds up more negative behavior and self rejection. She does not feel worthy of anything until she feels/sees love. Be angry, but never at her. She is trying to be/do more and yearns to be/do more. Sometimes the circumstances, past relationships, and the cycle keeps her on a rollercoaster. The staying on the ride becomes enjoyable and it hurts to let go or get off. She has adapted to the ride and may not know what it’s like to move on for fear of growth. Internally and mentally she craves the ride because that is all she has grown accustomed to.
Understanding
Part one: sympathetic, considerate, thoughtful, kind, accepting, supportive, tolerant, settlement, accord, compassion
Part two: comprehension, insight awareness, appreciation, discernment, harmony, kindness
I put two parts here because the first is for both you and she (girl/young lady/woman). Part two is for her only. In order for growth to occur, both parties involved must be sympathetic and considerate of the circumstances that the person has gone through. This person has been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions her entire life. Remember she does not know anything else; she knows she needs more and the goal feels unattainable. You may never walk a mile in her shoes, but at least understand that for years she has been tormented by herself emotionally. In order for her to move forward, she must comprehend what has held her back for so long, forgive it, release it and move before harmony can occur. She has been told her entire life by others that she will never amount to anything, “your father never loved you,” “you aint got no daddy,” “men aren’t worth a dime, you don’t need a man to complete you ‘cause I handled all of this on my own without one,” “men our dogs….” All of this was fed into her psyche. In order to deprogram those negative messages, it takes time. Before she can move forward in any relationship, work, love, or what have you, she has to learn how to crawl then walk. Her inner self is still a screaming child that does not know how to comprehend emotions.
Once all of those things have been recognized and groomed with total understanding, she can move forward. For now it will take time to get her to reach a level of perfection. She will stumble, cry, fall, the whole nine. Once she is able to get up from crawling, walk, and then run, she will have accomplished what she has always wanted. To get off of the rollercoaster, move forward, and love herself for a long time.
Love
Me
I wrote this letter to someone of importance because I needed to be reminded of what I am doing. I am that someone of importance and I tend to forget that. I struggled this week and beat myself up about it. It took me a minute before I could put my Blog together because I walked away again from the Lord knowing the consequences. I was noticing myself stepping back onto that same rollercoaster that has kept me trapped for many years. I found myself doing extra things that I never would have done before, ever! I started remembering people talking about the enemy. Shoots, the enemy the majority of the time is myself. Then I remembered Romans 1:18-28. This is deep ya’ll because it is true. When you let flesh take hold and you become weak, you turn away from the Lord. He let’s you do it knowing that you will return to Him. What’s crazy is, He still keeps you and accepts you with loving open arms. That love is awesome ya’ll. I get it, I truly do. No man in this world, walking on this earth would ever do the same. None! I have never found one to accept me after turning his back on me; knowing what I would do would be disobedient to his rules and laws before I even did it. I am thankful yet again for Him and Him alone. If you have been abused as a child or in a fatherless home, your true Father hears every cry, sees every fall and trembling of legs, and He still keeps you. You are not alone in this struggle my sisters, never alone on this journey. If no one else has told you that they love you, He does. If you haven’t seen it, look at your life because He is there. Love you always and pray for me I truly need it…… God bless you always.
Shani
