PlayerHateHer: Why Some Black Women Don't Support Other Black Women
Before Essence's Pre-Oscar Luncheon, BlackTree Media talked to Letoya Luckett, Melinda Williams, and Anika Rose about supporting other black women. It's ironic that this link was sent to me, because this was a recent topic of discussion amongst me and a couple of my friends. Of course, jealousy and lack of support is not limited to race or gender, but many black women seem to fall prey to 'hating' on other black women.
In Hollywood, the excuse is that there aren't enough roles to go around for black women, which sometimes leads to lack of support and possibly envy. So, maybe that's the case outside of Hollywood, are there not enough men to go around that we despise the woman who has the man? Are there not enough jobs to go around, that we hate on the woman who has the career that we actually want? I could go on and on with what there is a lack of that may possibly cause black women to not support each other, but the truth is, it shouldn't matter.
Black women are a double minority. At times, it's hard enough for black women to gain the respect of other races and at times, men. So although different, we share many of the same struggles. These struggles should connect us, not seperate us.
This topic is heavily debated amongst black women. In 2008, Tamara Johnson-George, formerly of SWV, released a book called, Player HateHER: How to Avoid the Beat Down and Live in a Drama-Free World. Cowritten with Katrina Chambers, the book tells women why they hate on each other and how to stop. A Player hateHER is defined as "a woman who unnecessarily displays a negative attitude toward another woman for trivial reasons."
According to George and Chambers, if you exhibit any of these traits, you may be guilt of being a Player hateHER:
You get upset when people don't notice how fabulous you are.
You vow to get revenge on your boyfriend's mistress, instead of him.
You have an attitude with your friend because she's dating and you're not.
You become angry when you see someone wearing the same outfit you purchased, as if it were produced just for you.
You think anyone who doesn't agree with your opinion is just jealous.
Ladies, are you guilty of any of these behaviors? The reality is, many of us are all guilty of demonstrating at least one of these characteristics at one point in time. But, when you genuinely love who you are, you don't fall prey to a lot of this foolish behavior. Let's support each other, not pull each other down, ladies.
To Read the full article or see video go to:
http://herdailyfix.com/2010/03/why-black-w...
In Hollywood, the excuse is that there aren't enough roles to go around for black women, which sometimes leads to lack of support and possibly envy. So, maybe that's the case outside of Hollywood, are there not enough men to go around that we despise the woman who has the man? Are there not enough jobs to go around, that we hate on the woman who has the career that we actually want? I could go on and on with what there is a lack of that may possibly cause black women to not support each other, but the truth is, it shouldn't matter.
Black women are a double minority. At times, it's hard enough for black women to gain the respect of other races and at times, men. So although different, we share many of the same struggles. These struggles should connect us, not seperate us.
This topic is heavily debated amongst black women. In 2008, Tamara Johnson-George, formerly of SWV, released a book called, Player HateHER: How to Avoid the Beat Down and Live in a Drama-Free World. Cowritten with Katrina Chambers, the book tells women why they hate on each other and how to stop. A Player hateHER is defined as "a woman who unnecessarily displays a negative attitude toward another woman for trivial reasons."
According to George and Chambers, if you exhibit any of these traits, you may be guilt of being a Player hateHER:
You get upset when people don't notice how fabulous you are.
You vow to get revenge on your boyfriend's mistress, instead of him.
You have an attitude with your friend because she's dating and you're not.
You become angry when you see someone wearing the same outfit you purchased, as if it were produced just for you.
You think anyone who doesn't agree with your opinion is just jealous.
Ladies, are you guilty of any of these behaviors? The reality is, many of us are all guilty of demonstrating at least one of these characteristics at one point in time. But, when you genuinely love who you are, you don't fall prey to a lot of this foolish behavior. Let's support each other, not pull each other down, ladies.
To Read the full article or see video go to:
http://herdailyfix.com/2010/03/why-black-w...
Interesting blog article and thanks for sharing it here on BWC. I'm not sure why we have so many ISSUES with one another, but I believe that through love we can conquer this green-eyed monster once and for all.
Recently, I was at an appointment waiting for my turn when I was complemented on my hair by two other sisters. I thought that was really nice.