Looking 4 Love in all the ______ places!
When you find yourself in a relationship that causes feelings within you that are not particularly favorable, what is your first move?
·Do you ask yourself why this individual is continuously treating you this way but you stay anyway?
·Or do you pack your bags, flip them the bird and jump on the first thing smokin’?
If you've answered honestly about your current or past relationships, your answer was most likely closely related to the 1st option. If you won’t be honest with me at least be honest with yourself. We have all settled for a relationship that was less deserving than what we actually desired for ourselves. And if you've never experienced such a relationship, kudos to you and I hope you continue on your wonderful journey of self-realization. Unless you are in complete and utter denial and therefore you will continue to be a repeat offender until you choose otherwise.
Why don’t we leave immediately? Why aren’t we naturally option #2 people? Why is it not our first reaction to kick the person to the curb and keep it pushing?
I am your subconscious, listen…”I love them, I see his/her potential; I see how good he/she could be if I didn’t give up on them, if I take a little more time to see them through; they will change for the better.” Blah blah blah!!!
In the meantime their ways have not changed. They continue treating you the same while you sit on the sideline occupying an ineffective space as a blind optimist. Why? What is it about human nature that causes us to put our self-worth on the backburner in order to put someone else’s insecurities on the forefront? What is it about human nature that we refuse to see people for who they are in that moment but instead we choose to see them for who we want them to be? We invest more energy into pacifying the uncertainties of other people than we do in spending time to build and increase our self-value.
We have been brought up to believe that we are somehow divinely connected to one other human being, we call this individual our soul mate and we are undeniably convinced that this person exists. We believe that people should be coupled and we have been taught that if we are not coupled with another person (especially by a certain age); we are not as valuable as we would be if we were connected with this individual. Wow, no freaking pressure there!!!!
What do we do because of this belief? We spend our lives searching for this being outside of ourselves and upon finding this person we expect them to not only validate us but complete us. Even when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the person is unhealthy for us, we stick with them because to be without a potential soul mate we would be seen as lonely, tainted, not marriage worthy and a bunch of other bullsh!t labels that society places on single people.
Another issue: Women, yes I am talking directly to you sweetie pies. We are always trying to fix someone. We want to mother our partners. We are innately nurturing beings and we tell ourselves: “Oh, they didn’t get enough love as a child, it’s not their fault.” They just need more time to see how I'm a good woman and once they recognize it, they will change and treat me better.” We cringe at the thought of being in our thirties and still being single! I could go on but I believe you get my point. Sigh…I know, I know I’ve done it too.
So...since I have said all of this, you think I’m about to give you the ultimate solution right? You believe I’m going to lay it all out for you plain and simple, don’t you? Well shoot if I had all of the answers I would be stinking rich! I’d have Arab money. I would put all of my relationship solutions in a series of self-help books, sell them to you for $15 a pop, I would go on Oprah, she would promote my books and I would raise the price to $25! Pwahaha!!!
Seriously, the only answer I can give you is You. You must understand that if you do not present yourself as a person who deserves to be loved in a healthy manner; no one will see you as being, deserving. You cannot expect someone else to treat you as a queen or a king, if you see yourself as a peasant inside. It just doesn’t work that way. You have to get to a point to where you don’t look down on yourself just because you are not in a relationship. You don’t need anyone to validate or complete you. You have to work on completing yourself from the inside out. You have to take responsibility for your own emotions; no one controls them but you. You cannot keep playing the victim and feeling sorry for yourself every time you get hurt due to a relationship. There comes a time when you must look within yourself and seek out what the real issue is. The cycle begins and ends with you.
There’s a saying that states, "You attract who you are." So if you are walking around self-defeated, insecure and feeling down on yourself, you are only going to attract someone with similar insecurities. If a person is self-doubting, even if they don’t tell you, it will manifest in their behaviors. Do not ignore this! Hurting people, hurt people and you cannot save the world by acting as if you are some blind optimistic mother nurturing super being. You will only hurt yourself in the process. You must Love within to discover Love without…
Until next time,
Tiffany Michellé
http://literarythought.com
BUY THE BOOK (so I can get rich!)
View More of my Blogs @ http://myliterarythoughts.blogspot.com
·Do you ask yourself why this individual is continuously treating you this way but you stay anyway?
·Or do you pack your bags, flip them the bird and jump on the first thing smokin’?
If you've answered honestly about your current or past relationships, your answer was most likely closely related to the 1st option. If you won’t be honest with me at least be honest with yourself. We have all settled for a relationship that was less deserving than what we actually desired for ourselves. And if you've never experienced such a relationship, kudos to you and I hope you continue on your wonderful journey of self-realization. Unless you are in complete and utter denial and therefore you will continue to be a repeat offender until you choose otherwise.
Why don’t we leave immediately? Why aren’t we naturally option #2 people? Why is it not our first reaction to kick the person to the curb and keep it pushing?
I am your subconscious, listen…”I love them, I see his/her potential; I see how good he/she could be if I didn’t give up on them, if I take a little more time to see them through; they will change for the better.” Blah blah blah!!!
In the meantime their ways have not changed. They continue treating you the same while you sit on the sideline occupying an ineffective space as a blind optimist. Why? What is it about human nature that causes us to put our self-worth on the backburner in order to put someone else’s insecurities on the forefront? What is it about human nature that we refuse to see people for who they are in that moment but instead we choose to see them for who we want them to be? We invest more energy into pacifying the uncertainties of other people than we do in spending time to build and increase our self-value.
We have been brought up to believe that we are somehow divinely connected to one other human being, we call this individual our soul mate and we are undeniably convinced that this person exists. We believe that people should be coupled and we have been taught that if we are not coupled with another person (especially by a certain age); we are not as valuable as we would be if we were connected with this individual. Wow, no freaking pressure there!!!!
What do we do because of this belief? We spend our lives searching for this being outside of ourselves and upon finding this person we expect them to not only validate us but complete us. Even when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the person is unhealthy for us, we stick with them because to be without a potential soul mate we would be seen as lonely, tainted, not marriage worthy and a bunch of other bullsh!t labels that society places on single people.
Another issue: Women, yes I am talking directly to you sweetie pies. We are always trying to fix someone. We want to mother our partners. We are innately nurturing beings and we tell ourselves: “Oh, they didn’t get enough love as a child, it’s not their fault.” They just need more time to see how I'm a good woman and once they recognize it, they will change and treat me better.” We cringe at the thought of being in our thirties and still being single! I could go on but I believe you get my point. Sigh…I know, I know I’ve done it too.
So...since I have said all of this, you think I’m about to give you the ultimate solution right? You believe I’m going to lay it all out for you plain and simple, don’t you? Well shoot if I had all of the answers I would be stinking rich! I’d have Arab money. I would put all of my relationship solutions in a series of self-help books, sell them to you for $15 a pop, I would go on Oprah, she would promote my books and I would raise the price to $25! Pwahaha!!!
Seriously, the only answer I can give you is You. You must understand that if you do not present yourself as a person who deserves to be loved in a healthy manner; no one will see you as being, deserving. You cannot expect someone else to treat you as a queen or a king, if you see yourself as a peasant inside. It just doesn’t work that way. You have to get to a point to where you don’t look down on yourself just because you are not in a relationship. You don’t need anyone to validate or complete you. You have to work on completing yourself from the inside out. You have to take responsibility for your own emotions; no one controls them but you. You cannot keep playing the victim and feeling sorry for yourself every time you get hurt due to a relationship. There comes a time when you must look within yourself and seek out what the real issue is. The cycle begins and ends with you.
There’s a saying that states, "You attract who you are." So if you are walking around self-defeated, insecure and feeling down on yourself, you are only going to attract someone with similar insecurities. If a person is self-doubting, even if they don’t tell you, it will manifest in their behaviors. Do not ignore this! Hurting people, hurt people and you cannot save the world by acting as if you are some blind optimistic mother nurturing super being. You will only hurt yourself in the process. You must Love within to discover Love without…
Until next time,
Tiffany Michellé
http://literarythought.com
BUY THE BOOK (so I can get rich!)
View More of my Blogs @ http://myliterarythoughts.blogspot.com
