Cheaters: “I Love What I Have, But I Need More…”

We have heard all the stories and seen others face excruciating pain from someone who has cheated on them. There is nothing new to this story. Ladies, you have often asked, “Is it me? Why did you cheat; wasn’t I enough?” Betrayal is simply devastating for both men and women. Again, it’s the same script but a different cast.

I understand what cheating can do to a relationship first-hand and have talked to all types of men, even those with status and titles, and directly asked them why they cheated. I’m sure all of this may no longer be surprising to anyone. Many were caught in prostitution stings with their pants down.

The question is why? Let’s take the gloves off and cut right to chase. You are about to hear the truth. You have heard and read others who say that men cheat because there is always some woman who is a willing participant. Yes, this is true--but why?

First, just know that not all men cheat, so stop looking at your man right now. Next, men who do not cheat all have a few things in common: Great love for their woman and family; bound by rules, usually religious; made an intellectual decision not to cheat. Or it can be a combination of all. Even though they may be tempted, they will not cheat.

We all know that men will step out if they are not getting enough s*x, not being taken care of at home, not treated right, if they feel that their woman is no longer the same, or just maybe they have outgrown each other--let’s get this out of the way. However, what if that woman is everything to him? What if he loves what he has but still cheats?

I’ve found the reason in this case and it is the total truth:

“Most guys feel that they can love their wife or woman and still have s*x with another woman because it is just s*x to them.”

THAT’S IT!!! PERIOD!!! END OF STORY!!!!!!

Men cheat because of boredom, a craving for s*xual variety and simply ego--or just for the thrill.

Now, I hear all of the sophisticated words, rhetoric and theories tossed out by many professionals in this area, and many of them are cheaters, too. The truth is that most men feel that their mind is wired differently and loves s*xual variety. Why?

Well, because he is simply bored and seeking a thrill. He doesn’t want you know because it can hurt. He would genuinely cry if caught, and would feel totally bad because he loves you. He does not want to hurt you, period. He just does not have the heart to say that he is bored, in search of feeling alive and seeking variety and thrills. In other words, he is tired of the same old thing, day in and day out.

What can you do? Well, you must do the same things you did when you first met. You must constantly date your mate and seek variety, along with all of the must-do things I’ve included in my book. Next, just keep him on his toes by s*xing him up constantly until he says that he can’t go anymore. Make his love thang sore from love but at the same time, become a great person to hang out with. It’s ok to learn the things he enjoys so that you can spend time with him when asked. Do not force yourself on his space, but understand the things he loves recreationally and watch how you can spice up that relationship.

One woman told me that she makes her man feel so free to talk about his fantasies that she asks him to describe a woman he finds attractive, asks him to find out about her perfume and tries to recreate this for her man. She becomes that woman, name and all!!! Wow, that can be s*xual variety!!!! Now, most women do not like this, especially sistas. I can hear you now: ARE YOU CRAZY???!!! I would never tell anyone to do anything specifically, but think about her efforts: all of his fantasies are performed with her instead of someone else. She may be on to something, because they have the best relationship I’ve ever seen. Recreate yourself for your man.

"Author of "The Raw Truth: What Black Men Really Want..."