Parental Advisory-Part TWO

This message is to all of the dating Parents!!! This is vital information to hear before you pursue your next relationship or continue to date while having minor children (under the age of 18) within your household. I understand that it’s tough for single parents to date, especially if you don’t have a sitter or any additional help. But regardless of that, your child is and should be your first priority. You must protect your daughters AND your sons. It isn’t wise to allow someone to be around your child that you are dating, unless you know this person well enough (or long enough) to be around your children. Not just for the obvious reasons of a possible s*xual predator or abuser, but for the child’s piece of mind. Think about your child and not just yourself. Try to keep your children and your relationships separate. Many of you might say, “Well, don’t I deserve to be happy too?” Well sure you deserve happiness…but not at the expense of your child! Check into an hourly babysitter service (be sure that it’s state licensed and insured) that way you can drop your kids off and they have fun while you have a little fun of your own.

Here are some reasons the two relationships should remain separate until the time is right:
- -children get attached to the other person or get used to them being around, and if it doesn’t work out, that child feels the loss as well, not to mention if they’ve built up a relationship with that person, too.
--Children are effected by changes in their parents behavior, if you’re sad or upset, they may become that way as well.
--Some folks begin to ignore their children and need to learn to balance it out and delegate their time accordingly. If you don’t do this, your child may resent you. They may begin to act out.

It is true that you would need to know how this person would be, when dealing with your child if you intend on marrying them, but there are other ways to find out. For instance, you can discuss your child with this person, tell them some of the things that you are going through with this child, ask for advice on what they would do in that situatuion. If the person already has a child and you have a problem with your child, ask how they would respond if their own child did that. Even if they don’t have any children of their own, you can get a hypothetical response. And please keep in mind that people don’t always treat your child as they would their own, be mindful of this and be very observant when you do decide to have this person around your child.

And…Please…PLEASE avoid the revolving door! This is when the parent has too many ‘friends’ that come around the child and that child can’t keep up with all of Daddy’s or Mommy’s ‘friends. This gives way for instability for that child and doesn’t set a good example for them to grow on.

Here are some scenarios:
-daughter sees mom with a different male friend every week---daughter may grow up and think that it’s ok to date multiple guys…at once! This may lead to an unsatisfactory reputation.
-son sees mom with 3 different dates, three different nights of the week---he’ll think it’s ok to have more than one girlfriend, and possibly believe that females are toys, therefore may toy with their emotions. And no fellas…it’s not ok to have more than one girlfriend!!!
-daughter sees dad with different female friends throughout the week---she may grow up and allow men to take advantage of her and will accept whatever they may dish out…including abuse!
-son sees dad with different females throughout the week---he may grow up without respect or regard for women or their feelings, and may enjoy playing women.


Many of these scenarios may lead to the lack of insecurities within themselves and their romantic relationships may lack quality in the future. Teach your child what a healthhy relationship is by setting an example for your child. Even if you didn’t grow up in a perfect 2 parent household , and trust me, there are many of us who have not grown up in this type of setting, but you can still teach your child good morals and respect for the opposite s*x. Happy Parenting!