In my {Bishop T.D. Jakes'} new book, “Before You Do: Making Great Decisions You Won’t Regret” I deal with this issue in Chapter 3. Nobody can be a good partner, a good friend, a good mate, if they are full of emotional junk. In the webisode I’m sharing with you today I speak of this in a comedic manner, but make no mistake - this is a very serious matter. Who you decide to commit to will impact your entire existence. So why wouldn’t you take some time to make sure that your future spouse is ready for the mileage that life will put on him?
Even after all of my many years counseling people, it never fails to amaze me how very little work, how very little RESEARCH, people do when they are “shopping” for a new spouse. Folks spend longer researching the next car they’re going to buy than who they’re going to be spending the rest of their lives with. I cannot tell you how many times newly married couples come to me for guidance, and one of the first complaints I hear is that one, or both, of them feels deceived by their partner. The wife feels deceived because she did not know that her husband had bad credit before she married him and now they can’t get that house she wanted. Or the husband feels deceived because his wife did not divulge that she’d been engaged before. Whatever the reasons, finding out important facts like this AFTER the wedding never does anyone any good.
You would never purchase a vehicle without a thorough inspection. You kick the tires, inspect the upholstery, look under the hood, take it for a test drive. And without fail, you open the trunk. Now if that trunk is full of junk, no matter how nice the rest of that car is you end up looking at it twice, wondering what other flaws are hidden under the paint and rims. Why do people not look at relationships the same way? And please don’t take this the wrong way, but every single person reading this blog entry has some junk in their trunk that they need to clean out.
We all have issues..some more some less..but curiously I never did "check out any of my spouses" I took the package and when It was flawed I walked away...too many people hide their "junk" but it comes out later doesn't it?
Friday, September 12th 2008 at 6:47PM
Marta Fernandez
Well put Latifah!
Friday, September 12th 2008 at 8:14PM
Toni Stanford
