PARENTS STRUGGLING AT CO-PARENTING, KEEP YOUR KIDS OUT OF YOUR MESS! (1016 hits)

Life can get pretty messy at times. As each day passes, we face different challenges, but somehow we manage to make it through by the hair on our chinny chin chins. For those of us who have the privilege of being parents, our daily struggles are somewhat different. We have the great responsibility of raising a child while also juggling work and trying to have an amicable relationship with the other parent. Whether you’re bringing up baby in the same household or separate ones, co-parenting can be one hell of a task. And while every kid deserves to have a great relationship with both parents, sometimes it’s impossible because they may not see eye to eye on certain things, or they just can’t stand each other. In cases like these, it’s a terrible situation for the child. If their parents don’t get along a majority of the time, then chances are, at some point the child is going to get drug in the middle of some drama, and this is totally unfair to them.

As parents, our number one priority is to ensure our child’s happiness. This means providing all they need, keeping them safe and loving them unconditionally…even through the agony of parenting with a person you can’t seem to get along with. So many times we get caught up in hurt feelings, bitterness or plain ol’ pettiness that we can’t control our emotions and begin to think and act irrationally. How many times have we seen mothers withhold visitation because the father of her kids won’t pay child support? Or better yet, how many fathers play the disappearing act because they’re mad at their “baby mamma” (I hate this term by the way) for any given reason and find her to be “difficult”? And who suffers the most? The child.

Listen people, whatever issue you have with your co-parent is not your child’s fault, and they shouldn’t have to suffer because the two of you can’t put on your big girl panties and big boy boxers long enough to parent the child that you made together. I know, I know. Many of you are thinking that this is easier said than done, and I couldn’t agree with you more, but it’s something that needs to be done for the sake of the child. As a single mother of one, I understand the struggle of co-parenting. But through the years I’ve learned to grit my teeth and focus on the bigger picture: my son’s happiness. I decided that I was going to remove any ill feelings I had towards his dad and be the best mom I could be, no matter what he did or didn’t do. And I have to admit that I’m doing a pretty good job of it! While this wasn’t an easy road to get on, in fact, things are still hard, it’s worth it when I see how much my son enjoys being with his dad. And when my son is happy, so am I.

Ladies and gentlemen, if we all take that step and get out of our feelings about our partner in parenting, maybe, just maybe, we can be the parents our kids need and deserve. Children don’t ask to be brought into this world, nor do they ask to be placed in the middle of unresolved issues between mom and dad. But what they do ask is to be cared for unconditionally. Parents, whatever you do, leave your child out of your mess. Let go of the past and embrace the incredible journey that is parenthood, because you don’t want to lose sight of who’s really important because you’re focused on what’s not.

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For?, a speaker and an advocate for single women. Follow her Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.