If you want to find your soulmate, you have to get good at mastering first dates! I know first dates can range from awkward to disastrous, especially when you have those “oh-no-somebody-say-something-please” moments.
The purpose of a first date is really just to relax, have fun, and see if there’s enough there to see each other again. The key is to stop worrying about what you’re going to talk about or whether or not the other person will like you, and focus on enjoying the moment.
Let me help make dating easier, less nerve-wrecking, and more fun by sharing 3 questions to ask on a first date. These simple, yet powerful questions will help you make deeper connections with your date and help you quickly discover whether or not the man you’re talking to is relationship material.
1. If you want to discover if he’s the relationship–type you could ask:
“What was the longest relationship you’ve ever had?”
If he vents about his ex all night, you’ll know he’s not quite ready for a healthy relationship with you. If he’s NEVER had a long-term relationship, it could be a red flag that he doesn’t know how to commit. If he’s nostalgic about someone in his past, don’t get offended. It could be a sign he knows how to start and maintain a serious relationship, unless of course, it feels like he’s not over her.
2. If you want to find out what his core values are, you could ask:
“What was the biggest decision you’ve ever made?”
You can find out a lot about a person by how they make important decisions. You’ll discover if he’s a risk-taker or if he’s more of a thinker and planner. You can also uncover his sense of morals and life’s values (that is, if he’s a high-quality, relationship-minded man).
3. If you want to know if he has goals, don’t ask him directly. Instead, ask:
“What do you like most about your job?”
You’ll discover what his dreams are with this simple question. His answer will reveal whether he is satisfied with his career OR if he really wants to do something else. Does he feel like his work matters or does he have a bigger vision for his life? This question, and the conversation that will open up as a result, will give you the answers.
It’s best to ask these types of questions with an “I-am-genuinely-interested-in-getting-to-know-you” tone. Don’t use the interviewer or investigator approach or you could scare him off. Stay open and you’ll encourage him to open up too!
BMWK, let’s talk more about first dates. What’s your greatest challenge?
About the author
Aesha Adams Roberts wrote 31 articles on this blog.
Dr. Aesha is a matchmaker, dating coach, speaker and author of the book, Can I Help A Sister Out: How To Meet & Marry The Man of Your Dreams. After years of making painful dating mistakes, she met & married her husband in 11 short months and has made it her mission to help women and men find and keep the love of their lives.
Okay these are the questions I used often if Yaiqab thought a women had potential!!!
'Wifey' right over my shoulders on this and I have nothing to hide because I ask her these and a few more questions before I transitioned into jokes and humor to lighten up the atmosphere in the restaurant on our first official date.
A. What have you learned from your past relationships ?
This will ascertain her decision making skills!
B. Considering an ideal relationship, what would you spend the majority of your time doing?
Measuring compatibility in social and personal settings. Very important babe !!!
C. What would you consider living a great life, examples please?
Measuring motivation and goal setting abilities !!
Wednesday, March 11th 2015 at 9:12PM
Yaiqab Saint
I would like to add more commentary concerning the dating scene in my opinion.
There are two descriptions of "Quiet & Strong Interest" in the dating game and let me elaborate more.
When Yaiqab was single I used to hit the bars and clubs frequently, ultimately this became boring because the majority of the people in the clubs are fronting, many are ratchet, and don't get it twisted there are strong candidates as well too.
Here are some examples of females showing strong interest in a brother and you must be keen to notice this and act accordingly:
A. Female maintains consistent starring at you at the bar and other sites within the club. B. Female at the bar says let me buy you a drink. C. Let me give you my phone number. D. Females in camp and one of the sister's tells you that her friend would like to meet you. E. Excuse me would you like to dance with me this is my song! F. Female orders the bar crew to send you a drink with a message from her!
Ultimately Yaiqab was getting weary of the club scene and I decided to change my venues to meet "FLY" professional women that had their **** together!!!!!!!
Meaning they work hard at their professional careers, goal-orientated, interesting, and challenging.
I needed a women to complete me because I was thorough in my GAME !
Like the Philly hit song by Sister Sledge stated: " I need a fly guy to handle a fly gurl like me."
Now conversely there is a "Quiet Interest" vibe from females and here are some examples:
1. Give you a brief smile or glance. 2. Repeated eye contact softly 3. Bump into you 4. Walk by you
Personally the "Soft Interest" was the best in my opinion because the brother had to put in the work without coming across as "THIRSTY".
I meet "WIFEY" jogging in Central Park and the campaign was thorough and required some game but her spirit was right and I had to be creative to get and hold her attention.
So be fearless in your pursuit of "LOVE" and make sure that you put the hard work within yourself and females will know that you are a strong candidate by your spirit and conversation piece.
Thursday, March 12th 2015 at 11:49AM
Yaiqab Saint
