Singles: 5 Things That Separate A Potential Spouse From A “Dateable” (511 hits)
BY: Tiya Cunningham-Sumter - 12 Aug '13 | Single Black and Married With Kids. com A Positive Image of Marriage and Family
I just love the Happily Ever After FB Fan Page. The comments are always thoughtful and lead to a great dialogue. A recent comment inspired me to write this piece. One of the readers, Tammy, talked about the confidence of a wife featured in one of our couple’s spotlight. She stated that the presence or absence of confidence is exactly what separates a potential spouse from someone who is just a “dateable.” Now I haven’t heard many use the term “dateable” to describe a single person, so I thought that line alone was worthy of exploring further.
With so many in a search to find that perfect mate, it’s important to discuss the signs, the do’s and don’ts and what helps a person standout as a potential spouse. Thus the following list was created. For all my beautiful singles, the things that separate a spouse from a dateable are listed below:
BE CONFIDENT!
Confidence definitely resides at the top of any list discussing how to attract a potential mate. Other people are drawn to the way we carry ourselves. When you feel good about who you are and what you bring, they see you.
GIVE A LITTLE!
What you’re willing to do definitely sets you apart. The relationships that don’t stand the test of time are usually those where either one or both partners are, simply put, SELFISH. People don’t want to build long-term relationships with someone who only thinks about their own needs and desires. We have to be willing to give, share and think of that other person often.!
HOLD ON TO A LITTLE!
What you’re not willing to do is another determining factor in attracting a potential mate. On the flipside of the point listed above, we also have to stand firm when needed. When we bend on our values and morals, we regret it and it eventually damages the relationship. Your thoughts and opinions matter. They are the fiber of who you are. When you give up all of who you are and settle for someone who disrespects you, you lose. If it is working for you and it feels right, stay true to yourself.
BE SUPPORTIVE AND ENCOURAGING!
We all need a shoulder to lean on and someone who knows how special we are. We have to also be that person to others. We have to be supportive to the other person. They have to be able to trust us and be confident in the fact that we have their back
HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!
We still have to have a life of our own. Hanging out with friends, taking time just for ourselves is needed and a great partner should appreciate and encourage that. We never want to show up as that smothering partner. It’s unattractive and sends a potential mate running in the opposite direction.
Not many folks want to be a “dateable” forever. Most of us are looking for that one special person to build our life with. In that search, we must remember what we need, what we can give and what a strong future relationship should include.
BMWK, what do you feel separates a potential spouse from a “dateable”?
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya was recently featured in Ebony Magazine and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of Tiya's life and love wisdom, visit her weekly blog at www.notyouraverageadvice.com.
