Raising Baby Together: Realizing that Daddy’s Got This Too! { One Plus One Sometimes Equal Three } (719 hits)
BY: BMWK Staff - 30 Jul '13 | Parenting Black and Married With Kids.com A Positive Image of Marriage and Family
by Kelly Franklin,
And then there were three – hubby, wife and baby! What an amazing experience to have a baby with the love of your life. We did everything right – set up the owl-themed nursery, attended Lamaze classes so we could get the breathing down pat, and chattered nonstop to my bulging tummy, where our unborn child was listening intently, no doubt. But I don’t recall having a sit-down conversation with the hubs about some of the day to day decisions regarding our baby’s care.
After I had our baby girl, my maternal instinct went into overdrive. I did things my way, or the highway and questioned my husband on every little thing. Did you wash your hands? Did you check the temperature of the bottle after removing it from the warmer? Could you whisper, the baby is sleeping? Each day was a new quiz, and it was clear my husband was getting annoyed, but I didn’t feel bad – it was and still is all about my baby girl. Even my sister warned me to not become that single mom, married woman – you know the one who takes so much pride in raising baby solo, that she pushes the daddy away until finally he gives up and lets her handle all the duties of parenthood. Then I’d be complaining about having no help around the house at all!
Nonetheless, my epiphany didn’t come until one day when my baby girl was gurgling and cooing while her daddy talked to her in his deep, sing-songy way. I thought, what a lucky girl to have a daddy who loves and cares for her unconditionally. Then it dawned on me that I wasn’t giving her rock star daddy enough credit for all he does – making bottles, running up and down the stairs to grab a toy or blankie, or changing ‘up-your-backer’, poopy diapers. It took me a minute to realize that although he may not do things the exact way I would, he was just as capable of caring for our sweet potato, same as me.
So if she’s crying, and I can’t console her, handing her to daddy is more than acceptable. When he warms a bottle, I suppress the instinct to double check the temperature behind him (hey, I’m a work in progress, okay!) before giving it to her. He picks out baby ensembles for her fashionista, outfit changes. Plus, we talk about her nonstop – her likes, dislikes, naptimes, feeding schedules. It’s all high fives, solidarity and #teamfranklin now, even as we work out the hiccups on this new path of parenthood – but the point is, we’re in it together.
BMWK – Have you ever realized that your way is not the only right way to do things, especially when it comes to raising the kids?
Kelly Franklin is a middle school Language Arts teacher and creative writer, with recent features on Madame Noire. Kelly Franklin is currently working on a children’s book for African American girls. Kelly lives in Kentucky and is the mother of a spunky seven-month-old baby girl. Connect with Kelly’s blogs at Kink Freaks, where she peels back the layers to her natural self and loves the many kinks that make up her life-including her hair; and Sweet Potato Babies for commentary on all things for brown babies and new, mocha moms.
