Are You a High Maintenance Spouse ??????? (146 hits)

by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter | on February 4th, 2013 |
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage and Family


I wouldn’t normally label myself as high maintenance, but a recent encounter with a White Castle sign made me second guess that thought. The sign read “Valentines Day Reservations, Call Now.” My initial thoughts of spending Valentine’s Day with my husband in White Castle were that it would be very unappealing. We don’t normally celebrate this particular occasion anyway because we usually honor one another throughout the year. But when I thought about my husband presenting White Castle reservations to me, I wasn’t too sure how I would have responded.

My husband has often described me as easy going and drama free. I know part of that comes from my not requesting too much too often. It doesn’t require a whole lot to keep me satisfied and the same is true for my husband. Which doesn’t mean we don’t put forth a great deal of effort to gratify one another. But I questioned my first reaction to that sign. It brought to mind conversations I used to have with friends as a young adult. I recall me and my girlfriends debating the topic of relationships back in the day and what a boyfriend had to do for us. Things like pay for every date, help out with certain bills, and buy us things just because, were all things boyfriends had to do in order to maintain our interest. We were young and placed value on the amount of money a man was willing to spend. Once, it came down to the engagement ring. I remember one friend even declaring if the ring didn’t cost at least a specific dollar amount it wouldn’t be accepted. Now it never went that far for me. But I also had certain childish requirements. I am so grateful I grew out of that mode.

My relationship has gone beyond material things. It focuses on how my husband makes me feel, not what he can buy for me. So although I didn’t think, at first, a date at White Castle for Valentine’s Day would be of interest to me, I came to the conclusion that it really doesn’t matter where we are. Not every date can be lavish, sometimes the budget may be a little tight and we have to get creative. Or it’s something to do just for fun. The bottom line is to keep focused on what’s most important in my relationship and it isn’t where my husband takes me on a date.

BMWK — Are you a high maintenance spouse? Would you be okay with reservations at White Castle for Valentine’s Day?





About the author

Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach and founder of Life Editing. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya was featured in Ebony Magazine in the October 2008 and November 2010 issues. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. Posted By: Yaiqab Saint
Monday, February 4th 2013 at 5:50PM
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