Indiana mom forces son to wear " I steal " sign (1135 hits)
CBS) FT. WAYNE, Ind. - An Indiana mother forced her son to wear a sign around his neck listing his law-breaking behavior and stand on a Ft. Wayne street corner for two hours earlier this week. The sign read: "I lie, I steal, I sell drugs, I don't follow the law." CBS New York reports that Dynesha Lax thought the punishment police had given her son when he broke the law recently wasn't strong enough to get him to stop his behavior, so she took matters into her own hands.
"He broke the law again today and they only gave him a few hours community service. So I decided that we're going to wear a sign," she said. "Since you're looking for attention, we're going to get you attention." CBS Atlanta reports that some passing drivers evidently thought Lax was breaking the law and called police. But officers said Lax is completely within her rights to make her son stand on the side of the street. It is not illegal.
"I'm hoping that having him out here is going to make it sink in. It wasn't for it to be a joke or anything funny. He just had to stand out here two hours and suddenly it blew up. Then again they've got their way of parenting and I've got mine. My object is to save my son," said Lax.
I wonder if this mother has considered seeking professional counseling for her child, because it is obvious to me that he needs help; however, to humiliate him is not the best course of action. It’s clear that the mother is upset with the juvenile justice system and should address them by contacting her local elected officials first and then state elected officials. I’ve stop asking where the fathers are these days, because it is glaringly obvious that the child’s father isn’t in his life which may well be part of the problem. Hopefully he can get into a good after school program or extracurricular activities to engage his time, because an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. I’d also suggest that she have him seen by a psychiatrist because compulsive lying and stealing are symptoms of some psychiatric disorders. She should rule out psychiatric causes for his behavior and get him engaged ASAP!!!
Clearly the young man needs help. I think his mom was desperate. There are plenty of parents who feel their children are out of control. Here, mom is making an effort to teacher hers son a lesson. As a father of two grown men who were once teenagers, I know that humiliation can be a powerful force to reign in their behavior when you can't use any other way.
She did it out of love. Tough love--but love. She cares about her son I am sure she wants nothing more than to see him grow up into a productive and intelligent adult.
But you are right--counseling will help.
Saturday, January 14th 2012 at 9:24PM
Richard Kigel
@ Brother Rich,
I can appreciate what you have said, but here's something that I have found that I would like to share with you. In Black Matriarchal family dynamics, boys raised in these environments although they would lay down their lives for their mothers... they tend to hold some resentment not only for their mother's at some point in their lives but for other Black women they come into contact with. In your case Brother Rich (being a man)... you used the tactic with your boys successfully, but I'm sure it was received better by your sons merely for the fact that you are also male so they see you as being equal. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Black men in America (not all) raised by women will need some form of counseling in their lives to deal with the Oedipus complex in order to forge healthy relationships with Black women. I’ve also found in general men usually don’t like taking orders from a woman and it matters not that it’s their mother. I’ve done my own little informal study on the job when I’ve had confused male patients who aren’t listening to me (not because of their mental status), but simply they saw me as not their equal … I threaten them by saying I’ll call security or either find a male employee (could be the janitor) to go to the room and stand by me… AMAZINGLY they because very respectful.
Without a doubt although I empathize with this mother and her last ditch effor of desperation to help her son, I can tell you this will definitely come back to "bite" this mother if she doesn't get her son help fast!
...Just think in the world we live in now with Facebook, Twitter... his classmates will use this against him forever to bully him or pick on him. His head in the picture is hung down low. I really feel for this child. ... And I'm sure Brother Rich you didn't have your son's faces plastered on every media news outlet. Mom there are other ways ... Ask for resources... ask for help ... don't humiliate your child in this very public way. Sorry but this is not COOL.
she should have put at the top of the sign, I made this lie, this stealer, etc............
Sunday, January 15th 2012 at 8:42AM
powell robert
I've seen this done by another mother. For her son it was a good punishment. The child actually said it was a lesson well learned. Sometimes, depending on the situation of course; humilation can be an excellent teaching and learning dispense for directions to do the right thing.
Sunday, January 15th 2012 at 9:52AM
MIISRAEL Bride
Jen--
You raised some excellent points. Not cool. Yes--I agree with it.
My point is that the mom was desperate. In her own words she said she did it to save her son.
Your advice, I think, would have been the best course--counseling!
However--I think we can all wish her her and her son all the best for a positive outcome. Time will tell.
And by the way--there are lots and lots of strong successful black men who were raised by their mothers--and in some cases their grandmothers--who adore them exactly because they were tough and they knew they could not get away with any antics that would displease her or they would get smacked upside their head.
The bottom line is--the young men knew they were loved. What a powerful force!!!
((Lol)) That's what I'm talking about. She made him so he is a reflection of her so I'd never do something like that to my own flesh and blood. There are other ways... In essence when people see the child, they are seeing her. In an West African community... NO MOTHER WOULD EVER DO THIS TO HER CHILD!
Brother Rich, I understand that there are some Black men who have been raised successfully by their mothers and grandmother's (President Barack Obama) but the statitics show that there are an overwhelming number of Black males who haven't faired so well. Lawd Hamercy as Brother Clark would say... where is the dignity and decency in what she did? Publicly humiliating your own flesh and blood in such a demeaning way shows not only that she is desperate but also ignorant to community resources that remain in this tough economy. When she was called on the carpet about this... she defends this as other parents have their parenting choices?! This isn't parenting in my opinion. Show a child the right way and reward them for making good choices. I wonder what Bill Cosby has to say about this.
Sorry Brother Rich but I have to agree to disagree with you on this woman's decision.
You go mom..."I" chant (pray) that this mother's message gets through to her son that after a few hours he can take this sign off...but when he get's F-O-R-C-E-D INTO PRISON AND WEAR A PRISON NUMBER HE WILL BE DOING SO FOR YEARS IF NOT FOR THE REST OF HIS NATURAL LIFE!
WE MUST SAVE AND PROTECT OUR CHILDREN SOMETIMES FROM THE LAW IT SELF/ THE GRAVE.(S-M-I-L-E)...
And, On top of evrything else these little slight punishments and tiny crimes will be there to get him even more time in jail / prison, because 1 goes to 2 and not back to zero in our legal system...
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
Rich, I shall speak to you as you ae a public school teacher...and, I do so assuming all of your students have acted up in your class at some times, am I correct? what so you do, give timeout or send theparents a note to get counseloring for theier children?!?
NOw lets go on to things that are free, can yuou think of any?!? what is this child's chances of gettin a trial for being mental after he gets a rap sheet that is say 2-3 pages long...but at least so far I have not heard it is her fault because she has no man sleeping in her bed?
WE HAVE GOT TO START HOLDING THE INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR...
Now I will say why I brought ALL oof this up...I have a friend who went to jail and refused to get out on theecondition taht she got her child out of juvinile...this friend had come home early from work and found her teen daughter in he mome with her grown boyfriend who she had told to stay away from her daughter...when she told the man to get out of her home her daughter raised her hands and slapped her and she comminsted to whip her like she is the one who gives her food, clothes and shelter...her daughter called the police on her and took her child to juvie...and she refused to come gat her...now she had no father in the home because he is in the air force statened in Germany at the time...she said if they knwe better ow to raise her child then please do so...
I have another friend who refused to get her chiols out of juvie, because she told them she would come get him as soon as hey look up all of thetimes eshe had called them voer him stealing out of her purse and coming in when he felt like it and if they had a reason fo what they did thet she could accpet, she would be gald to come and get him!!!
so htere are life insidents I mentioned and one friend is Black and one is white...a child is smart and they know how to manipulate, but when it occme right down to it who will they call when they have her child or who do they expect to feed, cloth and feed him? and I will repeat this is something I learned which no one in America can deny...thelaw will give a white male a slap on aeh hand but a Black male they will cut taht hand off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (smile/ nup)
Oh and in some staes they can arrest theparents for the child's crimes...
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
@Jen, "I" did sa parents as in male and female in the same household...and it is so comforting to know that only black males in mother households are in jail and prison so maybe now science can just come up with a way to have themales give birth and all will be well, right? oops, but some males might not want to get maried then we will hae a new problem wouldn't we?!?LOL(smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
Rich, again I speak to you as an educator:
This city must have a child protection system, correct, and is it not their job discription to not allow any child to "slip through the crack"?
This city must have a court system to protect children from abuse now don't they by making children wards of the court?
So if this mother is refusing to get her child proper and needed help then where are they? "I" am sure these tax funded programs have more money and a moral and legal duty as they were created to accpet zero tolerance of child abuse in any way, form or fashion of any person, place or thing, am I correct?!? (smile)
Or are we still in the only by skin color state or male world state or both or a female child would never do this kind of behaviors???????????????????????????????????...
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
Well unless his mom is lying he is already a statistics...one I am sure Newt is refering to when he speaks about our children are such criminals. (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
