October is Bullying Prevention Awareness Month: Learning from an Eight-Year-Old (710 hits)
October is Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, and there have been articles, interviews and specials focusing on the issue. I'm happy so much media attention is being given to this serious and important topic. I realize that bullying is a tremendous problem in our school system, but it never was one that hit really close to home. In fact, if someone had asked me three weeks ago if I had any personal stories about bullying, I would have said no. I was never a victim of bullying, nor was anyone I knew growing up. I don’t have any knowledge of nieces or nephews having had to deal with it, which certainly would have placed me in the minority.
Recently-released bullying statistics reveal that about one in seven students in grades kindergarten through 12th grade is either a bully or has been a victim of bullying. If you do the simple math, based on an average-sized classroom of 21 students, it is safe to say there are at least three students that are bullies or are being bullied. Now, if you fast forwarded two weeks and asked me the same question about bullying, my answer would be very different. In fact, just about everything became different that Thursday afternoon when I learned that my youngest son has been the victim of a bully. On that Thursday, my entire world tilted a little. Nothing seemed different about my eight-year-old son when he arrived home after school, but when my older son practically ran over him and raced to where I was sitting in the living room, I knew that something was very wrong.
“Willis got sent to the principal’s office” was all it took to send my blood pressure on an upward trek. But when I turned to Willis, my heart broke - I literally watched the laughter in his eyes turn to sadness. His normally proud stature began to slip, and the words no parent ever wants to hear tumbled from his lips. During recess, an older student and another boy were attacking one of my son’s friends, and that didn’t sit well with Willis, so he decided to try and separate the boys and protect his friend. The result was that the attackers turned on my son and began repeatedly punching him in the head and choking him. My son was sent to the nurse and then called into the principal’s office to give a statement. I checked my cell phone, my email account and Willis’ backpack. I did not receive a single phone call or note from the school nurse or the principal to inform me of the incident and my son’s injuries.
I went from devastated to furious in two seconds flat. I called the school repeatedly on Thursday and Friday, but did not actually speak with a school official until Monday morning - after I called three times. I knew how the call would go. I was positive that once I explained my anger and frustration at not having been contacted by the school about the incident with my son, the principal would issue a heartfelt apology and lay out a plan on how we were going to rectify the situation. I had no doubt that after explaining my sadness at having to deal with my son’s nightmares, tears and hesitation to return to school, the principal would again apologize and invite me to the school to meet with the counselor so, as a group, we could come up with a program that would help my son emotionally deal with the physical and emotional trauma.
Inspirational speaker and model Gerren Taylor is also lending her voice. She travels the world discussing self-esteem issues with kids and teens. I jumped at the opportunity to speak with Gerren about her message of "you're not alone" and how it has raised the confidence of those who are in the prime years of being surrounded by bullying. Click here to listen to the interview. ...
I'm so happy I found this article, because I didn't realize this month was bully awareness month. I feel so encouraged that I was able to address the bullying issue at my son's school with the principal and v. principal the moment I found out about it. My experience with system is similar to Nikki's in that this school my son attends doesn't seem to really have a "handle" on bullying as they should so I took it upon myself to let them know my expectations as a parent.
Okay! I'm going to bully you! --but first let's have (Hugs} ..
Good stuff!
Friday, October 28th 2011 at 8:07PM
MIISRAEL Bride
Great Post Jen!!!
Friday, October 28th 2011 at 9:25PM
Siebra Muhammad
Top 5 parenting fears and what you can do about them 4. Bullying The Fear: I'm afraid my child won't fit in socially or will get picked on.
The Reality: This is another parenting fear that is impossible to dismiss, since bullying is widespread among American schoolchildren. While young children engage in teasing and name calling and other cruel behavior, bullying expert Minne Fekkes says that bullying is most likely to occur in children ages 10 to 14. Bullying tends to decline somewhat in high school, he says, but the incidents that do occur are often more severe.
Bullying should always be taken seriously, experts say, because it's been linked to long-term self-esteem issues, poor school performance, depression, and even suicide. Recent history also demonstrates that bullying can have widespread results. It turns out that bullying operates like a virus: The worst bullies are often children who've been bullied themselves. Studies indicate that two-thirds of the mass school shootings that have occurred around the country in recent years were perpetrated by kids who'd been bullied.
Partly as a result of these tragedies, there seems to be increased awareness of the costs and consequences of bullying. Some school districts around the country have introduced anti-bullying programs. These programs establish schoolwide anti-bullying policies and educate children, teachers, and parents about how to recognize and prevent bullying behavior.
Fekkes's research, recently published in the Archives of Pediatric Adolescent Medicine, found that anti-bullying programs can effectively reduce bullying. His findings emphasize that these programs need to be regularly reinforced.
"Anti-bullying programs work best if they are re-introduced at the beginning of each school year," says Fekkes. "The policy should be explained, the rules made clear, and good supervision established." At least 35 states have enacted some type of anti-bullying legislation.
What You Can Do: Experts say that children who experience violence at home are more apt to bully others, so it's important to never treat your child violently or allow others to do so.
Fekkes urges parents and teachers alike to be proactive and teach children from a young age that they shouldn't tease or call people names. "It's important to let teachers and administrators know if your child experiences or observes bullying at school," Fekkes says. If your child is a bully, take this behavior seriously." Lobby your child's school to provide anti-bullying programs.
Initiate regular discussions with your children about how they treat others and how to handle bullying if they experience or observe it. There are good books about bullying available for children of all ages — the Anti-Defamation League has compiled a comprehensive list.
You should also help your child develop the resiliency and skills she needs to protect herself. "Talk to your child about ways to respond to bullying," says Fekkes, "and even practice scripts that she can use when and if she encounters bullying."
