Your Own Best Friend: Benefits of Self-Compassion (459 hits)
By Heather Stringer
Monday November 22, 2010
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Katherine Venditti, RN, BSN, an ICU nurse in the coronary care unit at a hospital in suburban Washington, D.C., walked into a room to deliver a washcloth to a patient who usually was cheerful. As soon as she entered, the man’s face contorted and he started shouting at her. He had been waiting for 30 minutes to wash his face and accused her of neglecting him and leaving him there to die. In reality, she had been busy with other patients who had more urgent needs.
In the past, this incident would have unleashed a flood of self-criticism in Venditti’s mind that could last for hours, if not days. She would think that she took too long with the other patients, she could not keep things in order, and she was a bad nurse. Instead, she stopped the intense pull toward self-judgment and practiced something called self-compassion.
She acknowledged anything she could have done differently, thought of a plan to prevent similar situations in the future and then moved on to reconcile with the patient. Both were smiling by the end of the conversation. In essence, she accepted herself and her limitations as a human being. Although this may seem like a simple mental exercise, Venditti acknowledges that it requires practice and perseverance, but the benefits to her nursing practice are well worth the effort.
“Someone who practices self-compassion is so much more effective as a nurse,” she says. “I have more ideas, I have a clearer mind, I can recall information more quickly, and the risk of making a mistake is significantly decreased.”
Researchers and educators are discovering that Venditti’s experience is not unique. For nurses, practicing self-compassion has the potential not only to influence job satisfaction, but also improve patient care and satisfaction.
Cost of Low Self-Compassion Self-compassion is essentially extending compassion to the self for one’s failings, inadequacies and experiences of suffering. Chronic patterns of low self-compassion can have significant effects on people not only psychologically, but also physically, and which what prompted one nurse researcher to begin exploring the correlation between self-compassion and levels of stress.
“People with less self-compassion and more negative feelings toward self can have higher levels of stress hormones pouring into the body,” says Lois Howland, RN, DPH, associate professor in the Hahn School of Nursing and Health Science at the University of San Diego. “These chronic high levels of stress can create poor health outcomes, including lower cognitive function, suppressed immune function and poor sleep, and this can affect a nurse’s ability to function in a job.”
Howland experienced the effects of being hyper self-critical when she was a new nurse. One time, she administered the wrong dose of a medication to a pediatric patient. “Even though there was no harm done to the patient, I felt awful,” Howland says. “The incident could have been jointly owned by myself and the physician, but I had a knot in my stomach and was in tears. I couldn’t get it out of my head for days. I couldn’t be present for my patients and families because I was distracted as I thought about this over and over again.”
Tools for Self-Compassion Catherine Kraus, RN, MSN, MA, a certified compassion fatigue training specialist, has taught two-day workshops to nurses on how to avoid burnout and compassion fatigue, and she believes that self-compassion is critical for nurses to be successful. “My own personal feeling is that you can’t give what you don’t have,” she says. “If you don’t have healthy self-compassion, how can you be compassionate with patients without developing burnout and compassion fatigue?”
She suggests reframing an incident by approaching it with self-compassion. For example, a thought such as, “I am really embarrassed,” could be reframed to, “The mistake happened because I answered a question that could have waited. Tomorrow, I will let everyone know when I am giving medications, and unless there is an emergency, do not talk to me until I am finished.”
Writing also can be an effective self-intervention tool because it moves people out of the victim role and into the witness role, Kraus explains. She suggests writing out the incident as the nurse perceives it, then observing any critical and negative comments, then rewriting the incident as he or she would have preferred things to be.
Kraus also suggests trying to take ownership of mistakes. “If we don’t confront the mistake or limitation, then we may continue to beat ourselves up and the issue never gets resolved in our minds,” she says.
Next Steps Mary Heffernan, RN, DNP, manager of epidemiology at North Shore University Hospital in Manhasset, N.Y., published a study in the July issue of the International Journal of Nursing Practice about the correlation between self-compassion and emotional intelligence. “I’m always looking for ways to improve patient satisfaction,” Heffernan says. “When I read about the concept of self-compassion, I thought it was important to explore whether lack of self-compassion is holding us back from being compassionate toward patients.”
She says the study’s findings show the usefulness of identifying nurses who need training in self-compassion and offering them help. This type of training has the potential to not only impact the nurse in the work environment, but in all areas of life. “Nurses need to practice self-compassion for their own mental and emotional health and happiness,” Kraus says. “If someone is constantly self-critical, they are not going to be very happy people and will be striving for something that is unattainable. It’s never too late to develop self-compassion, although it does take work to develop it.”
Heather Stringer is a freelance writer.
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