Part of the nature of being human is that that attracts those who have been pushed down and had their lunch money taken by love is that you realize how much of a bully love is.
Love knows you need it.
Love knows that despite your superhuman feats in your career, you are predisposed to love another person, whether family or stranger.
At the very moment you believe yourself incapable of taking another step down the road that leads to love, you see something that inspires you.
You hear THAT song
You smell THAT cologne
You see THAT movie
You go to THAT restaurant
The Nostalgia rolls through like the Tide
You want that feeling again…and no memory of the pain you used to feel will overcome those instantaneous moments where it all just clicked.
You say to yourself, no.
I’m tired of losing.
I’m tired of being used and abused
I don’t NEED love to be happy.
Maybe you don’t.
But you want it…you know you do.
Because THAT feeling is singular.
You can’t fake it.
You can’t simulate it in an avalanche of s*x and debauchery.
You can’t bury it under your work.
That desire will never go away.
It is what it is.
You are who you are.
Stop fighting it. It’s as natural as breathing
Just be patient and don’t try to get love to be what it isn’t or do what it can’t.
Several years ago I made a promise to myself I promised To Untame, To Rename and To Reclaim me Because after an experience of conflict and heartbreak I had forgotten my worth, my self and my beauty
So I made this proclamation of reclamation To touch all the ones that I love divinely While making this proclamation of reclamation It has brought to me a new learning of me
I’ve reclaimed my sass, my s*xuality, my spirit I have learned to like the razor edge of things I’ve learned that I can sing in front of a crowded room That my sunshine is sensations from joys to pains
I’ve also learned that my halos can just as easily become Horns That I possess as much callousness as I do compassion That I can be as ugly as I can be beautiful, selfless and selfish That I can be brilliantly confident and needy of outside affirmation
I learned years ago that I had miscalculated terribly I even had assumed that me and him had “arrived” I learned that this was just the beginning of being “me” And some things that I thought I loved about him I despised
And what I see are other lines cast down From men and women who have gone before me There are ropes of knowledge and wisdom Challenge and growth all dangling in the breeze
To continue on this everyday adventure That I am making out my life to be Will take way more than proclamations And more than believing and boasting
It will take that discipline that I told myself Several years ago that I needed so badly I’m looking forward to new challenges before me The creations and catharsis they will bring me
I am ready and I am committed And I’m not so afraid anymore Because there is nothing like getting your hands dirty to cleanse your soul
Tuesday, May 18th 2010 at 5:55PM
Siebra Muhammad
BTW Brother, beautiful poem!!!
Tuesday, May 18th 2010 at 5:56PM
Siebra Muhammad
