I’ve been reading an article in “Essence” on Black women and self-hatred. The article states that our negativity towards each other is due partly to our conditioning, i.e. Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome. I couldn’t agree more.
But this negativity does not just affect sistas. It damages brothas too. It damages our children. Its toxic effects seep into our families.
This affects people from Africa as well – witness the use of wigs and skin-bleaching creams.
What can we do about it? My work is all about practical solutions.
This has been embeded into some of our DNA Sister, developed in our genes. Negativity is an energy of growth and developes throughout time.Can even be passed on into our children as well. There are 2 parts to human beings, there's human, and there is being, The being part of us is the spiritual part, ( what God is concerned about ). What we feed ourselves spiritually, reflects on how we treat and feel about others including how we feel about ourselves and therefore is all connected. When our self-worth, self-dignity is jepordized or undermined, we develope resentment, envy or hatred which is mirrored and reflects back to us through the universe of natural and supernatural components. How can this be combatted, you asked ? Through the changes that can only be developed through spiritual growth and maturity. God is not concerned with what has happened or what can happen to us, ( God has that ! ), God is more concerned with what comes out of us ! Great post, great dialog. Thanks for posting, we need to be in the know ! Doc
Monday, August 24th 2009 at 9:22AM
Min.Dr.LaDonna Blaylock D.D.
Yes I read the same article in Essence magazine. I can't really recall any competition in my relationships with Black women. I've had issues with women but that includes mostly white or asian women. All of the Sisters I'm friends with are really good friends, we are close and we have each other's backs. Does not married if we are single or married. Some of these ladies I've known for over 30 years. Maybe this is a phenonmenon of the under 45 generation. I came up during the 70s and 80s and never really had those problems. Perhaps it could have something to do with evolution and as you say conditioning from slavery times. Women are trained and maybe hard wired to find a man to marry, settle down with and have children. Women naturally look for providers and protectors. There is a myth that there are no good single men. That is not true. Pretty much I have always been able to find a date and even now at age 50 I still date not as much as when I was younger but there are good men out there if women take the time to look and stop judging on material goods and wealth. These programs like Wives of NJ and Atlanta don't help. Our youth tend to be very materalistic and self-centered, especially the girls. Friends of mine who work in the public school system tell me what goes on and I am scared for the girls. Every day I pray my 14 year old cousin Veronica espaces and avoids all this temptation and makes really good, long-lasting female friendships. I hope Roni and her girlfriends bond to each other the way I have to my sister-friends.
Monday, August 24th 2009 at 3:01PM
DeBorah Palmer
