Hi BWC family. I just received a call from a young lady in crisis.
How can you tell someone else's daughter that she migh not be ready for marriage, even though the mother is pushing for it to happen. I just don't understand. Why would a mother pressure her child into marriage when she knows her child is not ready. Her daughter has been through domesitc abuse (beaten by this guy), caught an STD from this so-called fiance. Mom is aware of this. Why the heck is she pushing this marriage. It sounds like this mom is trying to prove something. She even came up with the wedding date. It is the weirdess thing. If a man gave my child an STD and has beaten her, he had better be hiding out somewhere because I will be going after him.
This is a tough call ! Sounds like this mother is the one who may need the actual help. I don't know all the facts, are you sure you do ? Mothers are in a pretty powerful position, how deep is your involvement ? Sounds like FAMILY COUNSELING is more in order than a marriage ceremony.
Saturday, April 18th 2009 at 11:20PM
Min.Dr.LaDonna Blaylock D.D.
This is a true story! It's a control thing with the Mom, but the daughter sounds like she is afraid to stand up to her Mother. It can be a generation sickness (that's what I'm calling it). The daughter may be afraid to stand up to her Mother, because she is afraid of loosing her Mother's love or attention (which it seems like the Mother is not thinking about the daughter's feelings or thoughts). I agree with Dora regarding the shacking up part. Some families feel that if he's good enough to live with, then he's good enough to marry. I personally don't want my daughter to shacking up. I know it's a sin, so I would talk to my child about the situation and let her make her own decision. Once a child is grown, if you raised them correctly with love, understanding and kept it real with them, no matter which way they decide to live, in the back of their minds they always will remember right from wrong.
Monday, April 20th 2009 at 6:57PM
Gwen Coleman
This is a true story! It's a control thing with the Mom, but the daughter sounds like she is afraid to stand up to her Mother. It can be a generation sickness (that's what I'm calling it). The daughter may be afraid to stand up to her Mother, because she is afraid of loosing her Mother's love or attention (which it seems like the Mother is not thinking about the daughter's feelings or thoughts). I agree with Dora regarding the shacking up part. Some families feel that if he's good enough to live with, then he's good enough to marry. I personally don't want my daughter to shacking up. I know it's a sin, so I would talk to my child about the situation and let her make her own decision. Once a child is grown, if you raised them correctly with love, understanding and kept it real with them, no matter which way they decide to live, in the back of their minds they always will remember right from wrong.
Monday, April 20th 2009 at 7:01PM
Gwen Coleman
Wow if I were you i would have a heart to heart the young lady. Make her aware of the consequences and remind her that this is a decision that she will have to live with for life. Ultimately all you can do is advise her and let her decide who she will listen to and what she will do. But by no means should you not say anything you may regret for sometime in your life. Hope things work out.
Tuesday, April 21st 2009 at 7:36PM
crystal smith
