What I can do as an accountant cont../Part 4 (390 hits)
So I'm pulling an all nighter. I drank some coca cola to get me through the taxes and research I had to do and now I can't get to sleep.
I am at the point where I am done with school. The only thing I haven't shared was that I got pregnant my senior year and it took alot out of me. I almost did not finish school. But I remembered my aunt and kept going.
I continued my Internship until I could work no longer. I took some time off to care for my baby. Although I wanted to work with a CPA firm I couldn't commit to the hours or travel. I had no choice but to put my career on hold so that I could take care of home. Someone told me that Chase was hiring. I put in an application and was hired. While I was there I quickly rose to the top. Establishing strong relationships not only with my manager but other managers and directors too. I started out as an analyst with the intent to move to staff accountant within a year.
I began to study for the CPA exam. Now let me tell you how God sometimes works. I realize now that everything from this point on was God's divine protection not only of my life but also my well being. So I was two months away from taking the test. There was a hiring freeze and all the promises that had been made to transfer me over to the accounting dept could not be honored. I remember crying for days to God because I felt as if my career was about to end and I would be stuck as an analyst. Yes I was working with a bank, yes I had more responsibility than my aunt but I wasn't in accounting per se. If I passed the CPA exam I could not use this experience to help me become officially certified. I cried out to God and then I let it go. I had young girls and I had to make a choice do I stay and be miserable or do I go and shoot for my goal.
I was told growing up that those without goals or a vision for their lives are as good as dead. I wasn't ready to die. So I began the process to leave. I gave them my two week notice (even though I didn't have another job to go to). They hired someone in the middle of the notice. They asked me if I would stay longer so that I could completely train the new employee. She was cool and a quick learner but the position had become complex. There were new laws, new standards and new tools that I had created just for what I had to do that no one else could explain. I wound up staying another month. Two days before she was hired this a medium sized firm I applied to called me in for an interview, three days after receiving my resume.
I interviewed and it went well. They asked me how much time I would be able to commit to travelling. I told them that I couldn't travel now because of personal reasons. That killed my offer to the firm. I left the office crying all the way to the car. I got sooooo mad at God. I asked HIM why did life have to be so difficult. I felt ashamed that I was in this predominatly white male profession and here I was a black woman with not one but a couple of kids. Would I be taken seriously? Was my career over? If not What would I be able to do as an accountant?
Of course God didn't answer me at that moment but I felt His strength overcome me. I trudged on to the car and drove away. I told God "Look I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Maybe this isn't for me and I should just give it up. No one wants me anyway. And if they did there will always be something that will keep me unqualified. Even the black accountants don't want me and they should be the ones to give me a chance. WHY WHY WHY?" After going off on God I went home without picking up the girls. I needed some me time.
I opened the door. Sulked to the bedroom, threw myself on the bed and cried. Two minutes later the phone rang. I wasn't going to answer but I'd be dog gone if God wasn't pushing me to answer the phone. I reluctantly got up still upset with God and now myself. I mean I have a job with decent pay and excellent benefits and I'm giving it up for nothing. Then here comes satan with his attacks. Yeah you're a no good mother. You call yourself black. I don't know a black woman who would do the stupid thing that you just did. You don't give up a job without having a job. You ought to have your kids taken from you.
I'm completely drained now. I answer the phone and it's a CPA he tells me his name and says that he just received a call from the guy I interviewed with. He was really impressed with me and though he couldn't offer me a job he felt that I would be a perfect fit for him. He wanted to know if I could come in the next day and interview.
I said yes. He gave me the firms address, I hung up and proceeded to shout and shout and shout. My God, My Daddy, My Protector, My Friend. Has not forsaken me and will never forget me. Now I was crying tears of thankfullness. At that moment He didn't chastise me, He knew I was broken. He held me, lifted me up and told me to keep keeping on. He removed all the shame and guilt and reminded me whose I was and what that meant.
The next day I went in for the interview. Half way through it this white man asked me if I would become a part of his firm. My pay was way better but the benefits were way less but not too bad. Of course I accepted. We worked out a start date which was supposed to be a month away. Later on when Chase needed me to stay longer me I extended my start day another month. I was determined to have a month between my end date with chase and my start date with the firm so that I could do an intense last minute study before I took the CPA exam.
