Do you do what you say you are going to do? If you’ve been told by your partner that you can’t be counted on, learn why nothing is more important than your words and actions matching.
1. Do you promise to do something and then just not do it? 1. Do you realize someone is counting on you? This particular issue causes much unhappiness in relationships. 2. This is a character issue, not a relationship issue, and behavior that influences every part of your life, your work as well as your relationships. 3. Saying you are going to do something and just not doing it is abusive behavior.
2. When you don’t keep your word, do you make excuses? 1. The only thing worse than breaking your word is making excuses for why you didn’t do what you said you were going to do. 2. Making excuses makes you feel worse about yourself. 3. Making excuses, regardless of what they are, never makes it okay.
3. Do you have a cavalier attitude about keeping your word? 1. Do you understand that keeping your word is about class and integrity? 2. Do you dismiss your partner’s reaction as being angry and hysterical rather than focusing on your own behavior? 3. Do you feel that not keeping your word is just something that happens? If so, you are not taking responsibility for this abusive behavior.
4. Do you often end up lying about what really happened? 1. Is lying one of ways you squirm out of situations when you have not done what you said you were going to do? 2. Lying about the situation makes it worse. 3. Tell the truth and take the heat. At some point, unless you step up and take responsibility for this behavior, nothing will ever change/
5. Does your partner say that she/he cannot count on you? 1. If this is something you hear, you need to listen up. 2. You need to be accountable – Nothing is more attractive. 3. Do NOT say you are going to do something if you are not going to do it.
I definitely agree that breaking your word is a very unattactive character flaw. I think it's safe to say that behavior has the trickle down effect on the rest of a person's behaviors and interactions. Meaning, your actions influence how you are perceived by your peers. I for one, do not want to be known as unreliable.
Friday, February 27th 2009 at 12:24PM
Karen King
