Asking the Right Question, Marriage Message 27 (183 hits)
"What am I getting out of this relationship?" That's a question that many who are marriedask themselves. And many respond with, "Not enough to stay in it!" We know that's true bythe amount of divorcing that's going on. "In fact, if you were born after 1965, statisti-cally, you will have more spouses in your lifetime than children" (Dr Roger Barrier).
Pretty sad, huh? So, what's going on? We live in an age where we have more information than ever beforeon HOW to make our marriage relationships better, but what good is it? We have fewerhealthy marriages. One reason is because we live in a "throw away" society.
It used tobe that we fixed what we broke. Now we throw it away and get a new one. It appears thatwe're applying this to marriages as well. We're buying into the lie that marital relation-ships are disposable. After all, (we've heard it said repeatedly) "God wouldn't want meto stay in an unhappy marriage!" But from what we read in the Bible, that is a lie that the enemy of our faith would loveus to believe! Nowhere in the Bible does it say that marriage will be easy (as a matterof fact, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:28 that "those who marry will face many troublesin this life").
It is said that, "A self-centered life will have a tendency to confuse its selfish desirewith God's will." Think about those words in how they apply to marriage. It's easiest tosee what we want to see. And unless we're on the alert, we can easily slide into a self-centered way of thinking. (I know that personally, because it's something I have to fightcontinually in my own life.) We justify and rearrange our thoughts and actions to fit thebest conception of ourselves that we can (much like using a kaleidoscope to focus ondesigns that most please us). We knock God's ways out of the picture. And "whenever Godis knocked out, sin is maximized." When we enter into marriage, the vows we say to each other and to God, are filled withpromises of faithfulness and unconditional love. And we entirely mean what we promise...that is until they are challenged by the reality of living them out during some reallytough times.
Eventually it's not difficult to lose sight of what we promised. But, are promises only good through the better and the "not so good" times? Are theyconditional in living them out? What about the scriptures that say, "I can do allthings through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13)? And what about thescriptures that say, "We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, butnot crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down,but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that thelife of Jesus may also be revealed in our body" (2 Corinthians 4:7-10)?
Is marriage really all about us and our comforts? Aren't our lives IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCESsupposed to show witness of the power of "Christ that is within us?" Are the commandsand promises of God -- as told throughout the Bible only relevant as long as we don'thave to suffer too much or work too hard? Isn't God's power and light supposed to shinethrough the darkness (as 2 Corinthians 4:6 and other verses in the Bible tell us) sothat the Light of Jesus Christ, can be seen in and through our lives and circumstances?
Let's stop asking the question, "What am I getting out of my marriage?" and instead askthe question that Christ followers should ask: "What is GOD getting out of my marriage?"Does God have a higher purpose and message He can deliver out this? And what are wedoing, as individuals, to contribute in a positive way toward that message furtheringGod's Kingdom work? These are hard hitting questions to ask ourselves. But can we ask any less if we arereally serious about living for Christ and glorifying God in our lives? It's easy tosay we are followers of Christ, but it's difficult to actually live it (showing thatwe mean what we say).
In Colossians 1:16 we're told that we were created "by Him and FOR Him." There is moreto our Christian walk than just making our life work for our individual comfort anddesire for happiness. Can't God work good out of that which seems not so good? We referyou to Marriage Message #24 (posted at www.marriagemissions.com) - How Big is Your God?We serve an awesome God who cares for you and everyone in this world. Why should anyone want to become a Christian if they see that we serve such a puny Godwho doesn't empower us to live above our circumstances? How can they see "the hope thatis in us" when we live our lives in displaying hopelessness? "You yourselves are ourletter, written on hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letterfrom Christ... written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not ontablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." (2 Corinthians 3:2-6). Are you living out God's testimony of love? Are you asking yourself the right questions?"What is GOD getting out of your marriage in the way you are living out your vows? CanHe use your life to draw others to Himself?
Are you living in such a way that othersmight say, "I want to know your God" -- where God's power and the Light of Christ isdisplayed for all to see? I'm reminded of my brother Rick who died a number of years ago, who came to faith inChrist less than a year before he died. When he called me up to tell me that he"finally did it" -- he finally asked Christ to be his Savior, he told me of how Goddrew him in to make that decision.
Not only did God use Steve and me to love him toour Savior (thank you Jesus), but God especially used his precious wife, Linda. Hepointed out that she didn't always live out her faith perfectly. But he told me thathe consistently saw the love and power of Christ throughout her life (even though hetried to deny it at times). She LIVED Christ. And God used Linda's unconditional lovefor my brother over many, many years of hard times, to draw him to the unconditionallove of God. He admitted that many times he didn't make it easy for her, but her love for him spokevolumes. And eventually God used her, and other people to get through to Rick untilhe wanted to know God as Linda and we know Him. How I thank God for her perseverance.
My brother was a tough one to love! But praise God, Linda saw beyond the surface andloved him and God enough to keep living for Christ, no matter what! Together, let's ask the right questions. "What is GOD getting out of my marriage? Howcan He use me to further the mission of spreading the Love of God to my spouse and aworld that needs to know Him? Together, lets live out the principles found inPhilippians 3:13-14 where it says, "One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind andstraining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for whichGod has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." "For Christ's love compels us..."Cindy and Steve Wright P.S. If you think of others who may benefit from these weekly messages, please forwardthis to them and encourage them to subscribe to this FREE ministry. To subscribe, go to www.christianchallengeandblessing.com
