Why black mothers should homeschool their sons (1251 hits)
I have homeschooled my teenager since he was 15 and entering the tenth grade and it is the best thing I have ever done. He's 17 years old now and basically a computer geek. The downside is that he doesn't socialise much with other kids, but that's exactly how I planned it and exactly the point of homeschooling my boy. I am not only a disbeliever in terms of what our children learn and don't learn in public schools, but believe in isolating my children from the influence of other kids and mass culture.
People have told me this is wrong. But when I look at other 17 year old black males and my own son, I know I have made the right choice. My son is not interested in "trends" or even fashion. He listens to classical music, rap, rock, alternative rock, he's creative and diverse and thinks he's a writer (I have other plans for the boy).
I think he has some issues with proper social etiquette, and can get a little "weird" sometimes, sentimental in social circumstances. I tell him he needs to buckle up, unfortunately our culture does not permit him to show his sensitivity. He loves girls but is very respectful of them. In other words, he never picked up on the whole misogny thing due to the lack of influence of boys his age. The problem is that the opportunity to meet young women is rare because he did not attend traditional high school after the ninth grade -- when he had his last girlfriend.
I think if we as parents, have time to homeschool and the educational/mental facilities to do it, then homeschooling is the best option FOR YOUNG BLACK MEN. Why? Young black men are often the target of violence, gangs and negative social stigmas which serves as a distraction and impedes/limits the opportunity for success. They are also easily influenced by mass culture, the desire to "fit in" with peers who may not accept them if they choose to be different and feel pressured to behave a certain way (This is why not having cable tv is also a good option!).
In public school, children are often treated like chattel because the school system is more of a social program than educational.
I've noticed with my younger children, that the influences of other kids is very hard to resist. They need to look and act a certain way. As soon as they are old enough (they are all but one in junior high school now), I will not permit them to attend a traditional high school.
I feel it is more important to give them a fighting chance away from the negative influences of our society than to worry about whether or not they'll ever experience a "prom" or know what it's like to attend a traditional high school. My family has disagreed with me on this issue.
My son will be attending college soon, we are just waiting for his test results now. Of course, he had to test out to achieve a standard high school equivelency diploma to prove he has to tools to attend college.
I think because he has worked independently for so long, that he has better tools than someone who went to a traditional high school and is better prepared for college. Working independently will not be a stretch for him.
Of course there are challenges. If you are a working parent, you need to have strong trust in your child and your child will need to have a strong sense of respect for you. Otherwise, you would not be able to leave the child to do their work while you are earning a living for the family -- the lack of supervision could be dangerous. Establish trust early in your child if you work day hours, or take a night job and teach your student in the day. If you are an at home parent and feel you can do the job, then you are in a better position to home school than someone who is working. Take advantage of it.
Anything can happen, even to a child who is homeschool. The experiences I've had with the school system and my son who is 13 years old, from how he is perceived by the staff (at his predominantly white school) to how other black students interact (usually violence is a big issue wherever blacks are attending school together even in schools where they are in the minority), I think this will be a good decision for us.
...I think if we as parents, have time to homeschool and the educational/mental facilities to do it, then homeschooling is the best option FOR YOUNG BLACK MEN...
I agree with you 100 percent on this point. I have a real passion for saving young black males from the unfortunate woes that society deals them. Homeschooling is a great alternative for those who can. Thanks for the post.
Sunday, October 26th 2008 at 7:23PM
Jen Fad
...I would also say that if there is a movement to homeschooling our [black] children then it must be kept quiet. If the media or anyone ever took notice of such a movement, the government would find a way to deter our movement...
I understand what you mean about the media and I am so "sick" of then already! I have been researching the subject of homeschooling for quite some time now every since I pulled my son out of daycare when he was 1 1/2 yr old. The teachers were holding my 1 1/2 year old baby in the Waddler's class preventing him from being promoted to the Toddler's class with the rest of his peers.
When I inquired about the criteria for progressing to the next level, I found that my son had already met them. I told the teacher that I expected for my son to be promoted to the next level like the rest of his peers. Now that was "crap" E Private! That was it for me right before it could begin. LoL
I don't think you should concern yourself with that socialization thing. It is overrated. I don't think school is for socializing as another BWC member told me. School is for learning, because there will be plenty of time to socialize. Your son will soon be married and he can socialize with his wife and family.
Sunday, October 26th 2008 at 7:45PM
Jen Fad
The public schools get money for each child they place in special education. It's sad because it's becoming about competing for money versus educating the kids. I heard the same complaint from a Latino mother. She told me the school her child was in had placed her child in english class for biligual kids without her permission.
According to this mother, the school was getting funding for placing kids in these type classes ( english class for biligual kids). The lady had to do the same thing you did. That principal at your daughters school probably had instructed the teachers to place/scout out kids for the special ed classes. Maybe that's the reason he was fired...the jig was up! Girl parents need to be on their P's and Q's.
Sunday, October 26th 2008 at 10:48PM
Jen Fad
"Unfortunately our culture does not permit him to show his sensitivity" well that caught my eye, because I had posted a blog on what constitutes a "senistive Black male." We should explore that. We still have not defined it. Going to a dictionary is not the definition we are looking for. Why doesn't he socialize? there is a plethora of activities that he can attend from computer-fairs to Star Trek conferences..what is socializing anyway? isn't meeting and being with people who share your interests?
My son was everywhere, Alabama NASA Space Camp, so he made friends there, Young political club, so he had friends there, and laundry list of activities, some of which I also participated in. We traveled, he made friends there ..the bad part was the socialzing briefly at a Middle school and H.S. and his exposure to real life, but by that time his personality had been formed, and though they may deviate for a minute, they come back to what they had been taught since infancy. Who and where is someone going to allow a kid to take apart computers and put them together again? I bought cheap computers at the thrift store and let him take them apart that's how he learned to trouble shoot..as a result I formed a company for him and he earned money, installing software.. taught him about investing, Farrah Grey the 14-year old Millionaire lived in Vegas at the time..there was so much for him to learn, you spend 6-7 hours in school and 4 of those hours are recreation, administrative tasks, lunch, play time..please ..homeschooling is the best if you can do it!! If he had a girlfriend in 9th grade he is fine!:-) so did mine. Not only that but I encouraged independence, because I don't have a controlling type of personality, I wanted him to be independent..he made his own decisons and had a much wider scope of information from which to choose. They learn time management and we were fluid with tasks. He also had a circadian rhythm attuned for night, he is not a morning person. Each case is individual, and there is nothing wrong with being a geek. Geek? Geek..you mean like the second richest man in America?? Geek on baby, leave the "Stepford" group behind.
Monday, October 27th 2008 at 12:13PM
Marta Fernandez
On "Special Ed" that has to do with $$$..more government funding using Hispanics and African Americans as their fodder.
Monday, October 27th 2008 at 12:17PM
Marta Fernandez
oh..just read your post Jen, where you encountered it. So there it is. I opposed Mayor Jan Jones,in Las Vegas a really cool lady, on Bi-lingual/ Bi-cultural education..using myself as an example of never being in any type of special class. True,they were not available back then.
The Bi-Cultural component is the Latino community copying African -American studies..but the historical context is not the same.
Monday, October 27th 2008 at 12:22PM
Marta Fernandez
Marta I was talking with a Latino parent in Perth Amboy, New Jersey about this placement of bilingual kids in mandatory english. It's a shame!
Monday, October 27th 2008 at 9:30PM
Jen Fad
I am a teacher myself and know firsthand how destructive public school is to our sons and daughters. Having to work, my husband and I sacrificed a great deal of time energy and money to send a boy and girl to private school. We got the benefits of homeschooling with some really positive social experiences as well. There is alot of scholarship money for high achievers and low income minority students. I have been disappointed by how many of our friends refused to even consider any option outside of public school. Unfortunately most of them have children who did succumb to the destructive forces. They have dropped out, been involved in illegal activities, and become parents too soon. Joyce Frett
Wednesday, January 7th 2009 at 10:37AM
Joyce Frett