What constitutes a sensitive Black Man? (746 hits)
As the pool of eligible Black men who are drama free dwindles, we are left with some un- certainty.
Is it a brother that cries when he observes a heart wrenching situation,or movie ? or one that feels some pain from the past? are his tears, not a sign of weakness but a sign of self pity? how can we tell.
How can we tell, when we have witnessed brothers who are abusive, then later cry for forgiveness? Just what does being a sensitive Black man encompass? Is O.J. sensitive? what about Barack Obama? or Mike Tyson? what about our own fathers? brothers and significant others?
Maybe we need ot define just what being sensitive is and do we want our brothers to be that way?
Like so many other words in common usage, the word "sensitive" has been overused and misused so much that it has all but lost its original meaning.
People use the word "sensitive" when they really mean...caring...compassionate...weak...irratable...attentive...considerate...etc, etc.
Basically, "sensitive" means the ability or capacity to "sense", or to perceive through the senses, usually at a higher level than the norm...due to injury, or optimized transmission of impulses through sensory (nerve) channels, or keen spiritual awareness.
Thank you Brother Reuben.. so where does that leave us females? is a Black man compassionate? perceives through the senses? I really want to know I don't usually blog this type of concern..publicly..but I want to know..
Wednesday, October 8th 2008 at 5:27PM
Marta Fernandez
Basically, Sister, both the Black Woman and the Black Man are in a terrible condition, as a whole; and are in desparate need of Divine Intervention and Resurrection. The Black Man suffers from being the direct target of overt oppression, while the Black Woman suffers from being the target of "covert" oppression. As the Hon. Louis Farrakhan has pointed out, we have both been bitten by the same snake.
What do we do about it? We need to try to see ourselves and each other more from God's Perspective than from the world's perspective...and this simply cannot be done without insight from God, Himself.
We believe God Came in Person, to America, to give Black People that Knowledge or Truth that Jesus said would "Make us Free"...
This is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. The Hon. Louis Farrakhan has delivered numerous messages to Black Women that I believe you will find very helpful in addressing your concern.
I know that's right!! I cannot get to the Mosque as much as I would love to.
Wednesday, October 8th 2008 at 6:46PM
Marta Fernandez
Do you think there is an avoidance at play here? Maybe the sisters should respond as to what they think is a sensitive male and would they want that in their man? I heard and ex's mother say that her son was "sensitive"? I am still trying to figure it out. Need some imput..I am serious..something seems to not be connecting...Maybe I should ask, is a sensitive male one that perhaps is on the down low, only?
Thursday, October 9th 2008 at 12:32PM
Marta Fernandez
Ladies and Gentleman, may I make a quick comment. I was catching up on blogs when I came across this one.
I think it is rather immature to think that a man shouldn't cry or have emotions. I was told once by a man of God that if a man will not cry-run! Even at an early age too many of us call our 3,4, and 5 year old boys men refusing to let them cry when they are in pain. Telling a young child at that age, "You bet not cry-you are a man," will stunt his growth. I think a man that can be sensitive (in tune) with a woman is a man that is not in love with himself and moves hisself out of the way of wisedom. Sometimes, ladies, we think "thug life" is what will give us passion. Don't get me wrong, I love a man that can defend my honor even if he may only look the part. But, how many tmes will we walk out of the front door and somone try to snatch us from his arms and demand a "6 pace march-then turn and shoot!" 99% of the time we will be held-up in love in the security of our own homes, where love and sensitivity wins my heart. Men are not dinosaurs. They are not prehistoric Neanderthals... Hmmmm, maybe this is the answer to the question, "Why do men cry in the dark?" Be Blessed.
Thursday, October 9th 2008 at 9:48PM
Robin L. Gooden
Thanks..keep this coming..because there seems no meeting of black minds here. I still want to know why my ex-'s momma who told me to take good care of him.. at 48 years of age..considers him "sensitive" he seemed quite capable of handling himself..just exactly what did she mean..he is by no means a push over,and when I first met him, I thought he was gay!! he is striking..my girlfriends had to tell me otherwise..but that's where that "down low" observation came from.. I am honestly trying to figure this out..ask about anything else I can answer, when it comes to relationships ..that is my dumbest subject..just being truthful.
He served in the Navy, and he seems tough to me..so what is sensitive? my daughter caught him crying watching what she calls a "chick flick" with Bette Midler..there is something much deeper going on..BTW? I asked him to step on..last year..but the situation always interested me.
Thursday, October 9th 2008 at 10:04PM
Marta Fernandez
Marta-Why Do You Care if he is your ex???? Sounds like your beating a dead horse to me. This question does not constitute the meeting of black minds-maybe it is just your mind. In Love-Bird
Thursday, October 9th 2008 at 10:19PM
Robin L. Gooden
No, it's probably the anthropologist in me that wants to know..I am nosey like that..I want to know why??? Knowledge is a wonderful thing..there is a problem defining what is a sensitive Black male..so let me see what white women or Hispanics or Asians say..I bet you there will be a lot of responses..and I do care, I care about people. Maybe I want to avoid this in a future relationship. Aren't blogs fun? what do you say? I am not a cold hearted bird :-)
Thursday, October 9th 2008 at 10:36PM
Marta Fernandez
Sensitivity, in certain aspects, is a good thing. Being sensitive to the needs of others (like a spouse) is good. However, like with anything else, too much of a good thing can be bad! Too much water can kill you! Though water is good for you, and costitutes 80% of the human body. Vulnerability is a good trait in a man, but only to a point. He is not meant to be so vulnerable as to be a doormat, but with his spouse, he should be vulnerable with her so she can help meet his needs. A man need not divulge every little detail of what he may be going through, but to let his significant other know how he is doing on the inside, when faced with some powerfully overwhelming things, can open the lines of communication and prayer, options and solutions, possibilities... Daddy says, where TWO or more come together in my name, I am there. He and God can tackle the issue, but by adding a person/people to the battle, you are certain to overcome! Women can sense when a man is troubled, what we can't understand is the depth of it, or the thoughts that are coursing through his troubled mind. Women understand this, when the kids don't call when they've been gone "too long", the worst thoughts immaginable come to mind. We call every hospital, police department, friend, searching frantically, hoping to not hear that they are in intensive care, in jail, laying in the street dying... A man has issues, will his paycheck pay the bills on time if he gets sick, will a night of reckless abandon ruin my marriage simply because I need to let loose, my wife is irritating me, but I don't want to hurt her feelings, make her cry, or her get angry with me for having an oppinion in opposition to hers. This, by no means, encompasses all a man has to deal with, it hardly scratches the surface. Daddy says, a man is not his own, but is the woman's, and a woman is not her own, but is the man's. Quite litterally "brother's keeper". Both need to be sensitive to the other. Their needs, wants, aspirations, hopes, dreams, feelings, likes, dislikes, habits, etc... Each needs an outlet within the home that they do not have outside the home. For the single people out there, your preconceived notions of the relationship will get you into hot water fast! Each person was raised differently, has similarly differing morals, values, and beliefs. Each of you has baggage that isn't unpacked until you move in together. Each of you must be willing to accept the other for who they are, not for what they can bring into the relationship.
Sorry, should have blogged this for it being so long. This is a very provocative subject with many lessons to be learned. Thank you for writing it. The key is moderation. GB
Friday, October 10th 2008 at 10:47AM
Lesley Knight
Willie Lynch helped to facilitate an adversarial relationship between Black Men ans Black Woman. A sensitive Black Man is one who acts like he got some sense. POINT BLANK PERIOD!!
Tuesday, October 14th 2008 at 8:25AM
Robert Yarbrough
And PS. You can't be raising up some Grown A_ _ Man. A complaint from my "Divine Feminines." They said they just ain't doin' it!!
Tuesday, October 14th 2008 at 8:30AM
Robert Yarbrough
I agree, a sensitive man is simply one, who takes care of his family the best way he can, lovingly, firmly with his discpline of his children, committed and self-assured.
Saturday, October 25th 2008 at 12:28PM
Ray Walker
