Nila Nila, This is me and from my experience not all single men are afraid to take a chance on a single woman well off to do. The single men that are afraid are thoses feel ing a lack of control and now days you really have to be careful who you date so please take your time. Remeber, what God has for you is for you so enjoy life.
Interesting you would ask this question. I am a single, 36yr old, woman with my own home, career, car, investments and good credit. Yes it is hard to meet a great guy. I believe when men realize that I am self sufficient they are intimidated. Perhaps men feel that if we have obatin all these things on our own, what more can they do for us. Some men know of woman who are needy and want them to take care of them. To some extent a man feels he is suppose to be the provider. Generally that is the case. But what am I suppose to do, put my life and dreams on hold until he decides to come along if ever?
So I take life one day at a time and do all the things I want until the man God has for me is ready to come into my life to share his love. I'm mastering me first.
Sunday, August 10th 2008 at 8:18PM
Etana Busara
Jennnifer..you got it..and you radiate in your pix right here there is a loveliness about your smile..and your advice is on point.I however am running away from mean at this point..I need to do me, me, me...I am also a believer that the man is the breadwinner whatever I make is for our "luxuries" ' because I do NOT help men with my rent, their rent or our rent..
Sunday, August 10th 2008 at 9:26PM
Marta Fernandez
I am a woman that is self sufficient however I never let a man know that up front. I was married for over sixteen years and I have been single for four years now. I feel that I have a perspective that most women don’t have because I was not put through the heartache of being single, looking for a man, having high hopes of finally finding the one just to be disappointed time and time again. This is the first time in my life that I have been a single adult and I must say that I am having the time of my life. I have learned from my single friends mistakes and I will pass some of those lessons on today. First and foremost STOP bragging STOP being superficial. If a man doesn’t ask you what you do for a living why are you telling him? If he doesn’t ask you how much money you make why are you shouting it from the rooftops? If he doesn’t ask you if you are a home owner then you should not volunteer that information. You are so busy tooting your own horn that you are not allowing him to get to know you as a person. All he knows is your portfolio. The poor girl wins because it’s all about her, the woman that she is; her hopes, dreams, and desires. In the beginning, get to know each other’s likes and dislikes. Learn what makes him happy and teach him to make you happy. Women are so busy strutting around like male peacocks that they don’t realize that, that particular show gets old quickly. When was the last time that you allowed the person that you are interested in to get to know the real you, not the woman that you created with education and success? Believe it or not no one but a gold digger is interested in marrying your work persona. How can he fall in love with the real you if he never get to get to know her? Now that I have said a little bit about what not to do let me tell you what I believe works, as it has worked for me and other people that I have advised. Begin slowly, with simple likes and dislikes, and I am not talking about Prada or Hugo Boss. The more you spend time with some one in an intimate situation the more the both of you will let your hearts open up to one another. Share something quirky. You don’t always have to be seen in the upscale places. Walk together in the park talking about your childhood and have a hot dog. Be sure to listen. Since you already have a house, car, and money; talk about the places that you want to visit. Take an interest in his hobbies and let him take an interest in yours. Laugh together, a similar sense of humor is very good to have. STOP with the I, ME! START thinking WE. You know what you can do on your own, now it’s time to find out what you can build together. The more things that you find to do together that doesn’t have anything to do with your money, your car, your house, the better off you will be. I don’t take a man to my house until I know that he and I share something special. I let a man be a man in the sense that he has to provide a place for us to parlay. I can be content in his apartment. I can ride in his hoopty, just as well as I can be comfortable in his mansion and roll in his Jag. Example: I had shoulder surgery and I could not take care of myself properly for a month—my arm was immobile. I moved into his apartment for thirty days and let him take care of me. Although I would have been more comfy in my eight bedroom house, I allowed him to provide because it meant more to me that he was willing to bath me, feed me, and comb my hair everyday than what amenities were provided. That’s a man taking care of his woman, instead of me insisting that he come to my house where it becomes a male doing a woman’s bidding. Our shared quirky thing: We watch WWE together every Friday night, in one of our many conversations he and I both found out that it was something that we both loved. I watched with my father when I was a girl. He use to watch with is father when he was a boy. It was something that neither one of us out grew because it brought us comfort and happiness as children. We both laughed to find out that we shared this. Remembering happy times was just one more thing that brings us closer togher. If you can’t find a person where you and he can be comfortable together then it will never work. No one wants to go through life not being able to be them self. Remember roller skating, bowling, playing darts and pool? Doing these things from time to time, but not too often, will no doubt trigger happy memories and conversations of ‘remember when.’ When it is time to introduce him to your world do it gently, with kindness and respect instead of pride and arrogance. Please remember, not all relationships are meant to be therefore it is imperative to know when to say goodbye
Sunday, August 10th 2008 at 10:43PM
Tracee Hanna
I would like to add to what Tracee Hanna said. My aunt told me to be selective when dating men. My uncle told me to stop looking for a man and let it happen. I don't roll like a baller but, I do manage to take care of myself. I don't want to risk my heart if it's going to be broken. I don't want a man to settle for me when he wants a fancy girl/trophy. I don't want my finances/credit score to be destroyed because, he was careless and irresponsible. I just don't want the drama that comes with marrying and being with a man. I seen too many women in my family who were hurt and destroyed by the men they married. I don't mean to be the doom/gloom and pessimistic. I haven't seen or experienced anyone who's in a healthy relationship. So, I'd rather stay single and enjoy my life without the need to be married.
Monday, August 11th 2008 at 1:53PM
Theresa McMiller
The good women that doing for themselves are like the apples at the top of the tree. Those apples ar ethe best, but they tend to get the ones at the bottom or on the ground simply because they are afraid to reach for the ones at the top.(they may fall!)
Monday, August 11th 2008 at 3:22PM
andramika clark
Very good comments form each one of you. Thank you all for responding.
Just because a woman is independent does not necessarily mean that she has a lot of money And it most definitely does not say she do not no how to appreciate or accept a man who is willing to be there for her.
This is my theory, what makes an independent woman is that our men’s are not step up and take their place in the family.
Therefore, it leaves a woman no other choice but to be independent.
She has no other choice but too take on responsibilities of her role as a woman, mother and a father in order to survive.
i didn't see this was a different blog.....i was 32 before i met the man God created and purposed for me to marry. I moved out of my parents house at 18 and lived on my own, car, some investments, my own place, etc...but that really had nothing to do with me "finding" a man. i got sick of meeting all the ones that weren't "the one". so i gave it to God. mourned the fact that i may never get married, got over it, told God if he wanted me to get married the man would have to 1. be a Christian 2. come from a christian family 3. be into music 4. be okay adopting 5. want to stay in my area of the country 6. be okay with my independent additude and still be man enough to be the head of the household.....three months later that man walked into church with his guitar case in hand. We prayed separately and together and heard confirmation from the Lord that we were meant to make our lives an offering to God. We've been married almost 2 years and yes we've had disagreements and hurt each other's feeling at times but we've never had an argument and we're still in love and still miss each other when the other is at work. Give it to God...quit trying to "find" a man on your own..I guarantee the Lord will bring the perfect man into your life :D
Thursday, August 14th 2008 at 5:53PM
Jennine Lawson
