" Unfriending" Your Spouse on Facebook is Good for Your Marriage According to counselor Ian Kerner (1271 hits)
Should you unfriend your spouse on Facebook? The reason why may surprise you
Sep. 7, 2015 at 1:11 PM
Chris Serico
TODAY
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After couples counselor Ian Kerner " Unfriended" his wife on Facebook, his marriage improved to the point that he now recommends his clients do the same.
"I realized for a little while with my own wife that I didn't really want her to be my friend on Facebook," the New York-based therapist told Public Radio International. "I didn't want all of that extra information. If anything I wanted less information — I wanted more mystery and more unpredictability. I didn't want to know that she was posting about being tired or having her third coffee for the day. So I specifically unfriended her during my brief tenure on Facebook. It's something that I do recommend to couples."
"Put the devices down," he added. "Studies have shown that even if there's a device nearby, it can change the texture of a conversation."
According to a 2014 Pew Research Center study, 25 percent of polled adults in long-term relationships saw their partner "distracted by their mobile phone while they were together," with 8 percent arguing over time spent online. Those percentages spike to 42 percent and 18 percent, respectively, for respondents ages 18 to 29.
If the prospect of unfriending a significant other seems a bit harsh, Kerner suggests pulling the plug on Internet-based entertainment altogether, at least for a while.
"When you add up all of the periods of distraction that devices give us, you might have a lot of time that you could put towards your relationship," he says. "We live in a culture where s*x ruts are epidemic and people go to bed too tired to make love — they have no time for each other. And yet they're spending hours a day on social media, on blogs and on Netflix."