Most of us have a failed relationship in our past somewhere. A relationship that didn’t work out for one reason or the other. Rather than calling it a failed relationship, another way to look at it is a lesson learned. Taking a minute to go back and analyze the relationship can tell you a lot. In particular it can show you:
What didn’t work
What worked
The truth about you
Now, as you look at these three areas, what it does is reveal the truth about you. When in a relationship, a person can fake who they really are in order to keep the peace or even keep the person. Right now, be truthful with yourself. What worked and what didn’t? What truth does this reveal about you as a person?
As you look back, you may find areas where you were too hard, too insensitive, or not stern enough. There may be other areas that you didn’t stick to your morals and compromised your identity. Whatever the case, learn the lesson. It’s not enough to be in a relationship, have it end, and never look at why.
When you get together with Mr. or Mrs. Right you won’t have to compromise who you are to keep the relationship, instead the two of you will complement one another. Fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle.
What didn’t work:
Look at the things that hindered you versus the things that helped you. Did on responsibility for his kids too soon? Not taking your time to really get to know this person before opening up your heart? Allowing her to make all the decisions; stifling your voice? What is it that hampered your spirit or took you on an emotional downward spiral? Where were you selfish? Were you open to receive? Investigate within yourself.
What worked:
Look at what brought you joy. What were the high moments that you really enjoyed? What made your heart soar? What actions, situations, or conversations caused you to be at ease? What did you enjoy providing or receiving – not tangible stuff but emotionally and physically? Where were you giving? Were you open to receive?Look within.
The truth about you:
When you take a close introspective look at what worked and what didn’t work it reveals the truth about you. It allows you to see what is a deal breaker for you. It exposes some areas where you may need to change. Perhaps you never spoke up for yourself and you realize you need to. Perhaps you realize you spoke up too much and need to listen more. Whatever your truth is, own in; stand in it. It’s liberating to stand in the truth of who you are, not compromising who you are created to be.
When you get together with Mr. or Mrs. Right you won’t have to compromise who you are to keep the relationship, instead the two of you will complement one another. Fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle.
Learn the truth about you, so that in the midst of meeting someone and then giving yourself the opportunity to be in love, you understand your own warning signs. Warning signs can warn you to run and not look back. They can also alert or warn you that this just might be the one to spend the rest of your life with.
Now, if you are married – you can still learn these truths about yourself. This is about self-discovery, not blaming the other person. The more you know about you and what makes you tick, the more you can open your heart to become most vulnerable and intimate in your marriage relationship.
BMWK family what lessons have you learned about yourself from a failed relationship?
About the author
Deborah L. Mills wrote 101 articles on this blog.
As a speaker, author, and transformational strategist Deborah along with her husband Jerome have declared a Relationship Revolution. She declares that healthy relationships are your birthright beginning with your relationship with yourself. Don’t miss out on what belongs to you. Join the revolution and help make this Relationship Revolution a movement. Deb is wife to one, mother of three and grandmother of one.
#3 was the most important when I matured as a single man.
The deep introspection of my strengths and weakness compared to a mate allowed me to discover compatibility, trust, and commitment to the appropriate "RIGHT" mate.
You need to take a step back and get into your own head.... forget about the blame game just sharpen your game !
Friday, August 14th 2015 at 9:55AM
Yaiqab Saint
