How to Prepare Your Dating Relationship for Marriage { REAL Talk Ladies !!! } (525 hits)
BY: Tiya Cunningham-Sumter - 8 Jan '15 | Relationships Black and Married With Kids.com A Positive Image of Marriage & Family
Not all dating relationships lead to marriage. Those that do, however, need to apply the right tools early on. We don’t ever want to arrive in a marriage not ready to be successful in love. There’s something like a reality check that happens when you transform your boyfriend/girlfriend status to that of husband and wife. People often say they didn’t expect what usually happens after marriage. The amount of effort required is often underestimated. Yes, things will change; it gets real. Life happens and you have to find a way to navigate through the ups and downs together. We all must remember, marriage is something you have to prepare for.
It is usually obvious when a relationship has the stamina to move from one phase to the next. The feelings are usually a lot deeper and both partners can picture a future together. From this point on, there are a few other ideas to put into practice.
Nothing hurts a marriage more than unrealistic expectations.
Remember, dating should be fun, but it’s also an opportunity to really get to know one another. Use this dating time to ask questions as well as share what really makes you tick. It’s important to understand flaws and all. In regards to flaws, be accepting. Also, know what you can tolerate. Think, what if it never changes, will I be ok.
You should also look for opportunities to learn from other couples. Even though you’re dating, It’s not too early to join or participate in activities hosted by marriage ministries and groups. Read resources that teach marriage related principles.
Communicating about marriage is also important. Uncover what you think you both might be like as spouses and together create a vision for your marriage. Talk future goals, and dreams.
Remember to also save a little something for marriage. The energy, and creativity in the bedroom, to be specific. Make sure once you’re married that excitement and passion never dies.
Being realistic and not thinking marriage is a fairy tale has helped quite a few couples as well. Nothing hurts a marriage more than unrealistic expectations. Some days will be more challenging than others, but how you handle them is key. Put great habits into place, starting now, by being solution focused. Know that you’re thinking for two when you make decisions for your relationship, and plan accordingly.
In addition to enjoying the dating portion of your relationship, the future isn’t that far away and should be considered once you’re with Mr. or Ms. Right.
BMWK, how did you prepare your dating relationship for marriage?
About the author Tiya Cunningham-Sumter wrote 392 articles on this blog. Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya has been featured in Ebony Magazine, Essence.com and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of Tiya's fearless life and love wisdom, visit her blog at www.theboldersister.com
I would also add when you and your man get into "IT" and have a fight remember control your emotions and when you get on the phone with your "BFF" limit your criticism of your man to another female even your friend.
Know that most women are lead by emotions and they will take you into a journey that may get you into trouble.
Example: "Gurl I hear what you saying Yaiqab has some nerve to do that to you, well we must get together with Wanda and have a talk about this either in a restaurant or nightclub.
Motive or real Friendship- Scene 1 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????
Then the male bashing continues and your friend says well gurl look at that fine ass brother over there in the corner, did you not say that Yaiqab went out after the argument?
Motive or Real Friendship- Scene 2 ???????????????????????
Learn from men about resorting to a "CAVE" and analyze the situation and ask yourself could I have used a different approach to the argument or disagreement?
A relationship has it's high and low and remember this is a marathon not a sprint.
Besides the brothers like to ' talk **** " so a lot of time the best course of action is inaction.
Janelle has a BFF that was trying to spit some negativity into her head, remember; "check yourself don't let anyone help you wreck yourself".
The choice is yours and please take accountability for your action!
