How to Clear the Clutter and Be Intentional in Your Single Season { Check Yourself And Don't Regret Yourself } (1195 hits)
BY: BMWK Staff - 6 Jan '15 | Single Black and Married with Kids.com A Positive Image of Marriage & Family
By Dana Michel,
It was nearly impossible to escape the inevitable questions, “When are you getting married?” or the killer statement “I just don’t understand why you are still single.” The sanest person would question themselves and become defensive in the same situation. And, then there is the look that says you must be too picky!
Take a deep breath and remember that they are inquiring out of love and not malice. Simply, invite them to introduce you to someone special! Carefully, explain your Must haves, Nice to haves and Deal Breakers. Then, the next time it is mentioned, you can mention that you are still waiting on them to introduce you. Thereby, putting the onus on them or at the very least keeping the questions at bay for a while.
Here are some initial tips to help you greet 2015!
Eliminate any non-marriage material people out of your life. Do not waste time with someone you would never introduce to your family or colleagues, much less marry. Clear the clutter. Start being the person to attract the kind of person you are looking for. If you have succumbed to watching Netflix from the couch while eating fast food and want a physically fit partner, you better run to the gym. Attract what you are attracted to, write your own romantic comedy Do not put your life on hold or defer happiness until you meet “The One.” Take that trip overseas, become a homeowner, get a new hobby or entertain more. All of these things can help to eliminate the smell of desperation and make you a much more interesting and confident person. Raising your appeal raises your chances. Sign up for online dating. It is the best way to extend your circle. Choose the service that works best for you. However, always remember to be true to yourself. If you are looking for a serious relationship, don’t sign up for a casual hookup site. The truth is that only an action plan will help you avoid becoming defensive or insecure. I know I always feel better being an active participant in my life. Don’t you?
BMWK Singles, are you putting your life on hold for “The One”?
Marriage Material is not your typical dating venue. Dana Michel, founder and President, has created a place where only serious minded singles can go without worrying if the person they’re meeting wants to get married or not. All members do! Plus this site doesn’t limit its participants to s*xual preference, race, religion, or professional status; all people are welcomed for being matched. The Marriage Material dating site has 20,000 new members after it’s launching in New York City at the beginning of the year.
About the author BMWK Staff wrote 920 articles on this blog. Content and articles from the staff and guest contributors of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com
Yaiqab agree with points one through three however I never used a dating site to get with females.
I suggest that you get with individuals that have charisma and charm because they tend to participate in more diverse venues that usually attracts better quality females and males.
Of course you need to sharpen your "mouthpiece" as well, professionally and smooth not "DUSTY".
I could never understand why some very attractive females here in New York would relegate themselves to either one nightclub or limited venue scenes.
What's up with that?
Actually during my single years I told a few of them that this house is not worthy of your presence. (Bold Statement elicits an response sometimes hostile or intense)!
The I would follow with this; let me tell you one of the most unselfish acts you can do in LIFE (elicit hmm.... go on brother)
Ultimately this will lead to what are the females aspiration and goals in life and then the "convo" gets more intense about her, automatically she will state and YOU?
So in recap improve your flow in the dating game and venue selection because depending on the venue it affects attitude and temperament.
Be fearless in the single hood movement !!!
Peace Out Yaiqab
Wednesday, January 7th 2015 at 10:51AM
Yaiqab Saint
Part Two of Game To Clear The Clutter:
The key to meeting a "STAR/10" is having and learning proper communication techniques and tactics.
Specifically the first 'DO' is to have energy and eliminate negative energy in your conversation because dating is all about prospecting.
Being single you are always looking for the appropriate mate and in order to win your "GAME" and approaches have to be on point.
When it came to the nightclub scene as a "SINGLE" it was all about the company that you keep.
Does that male or female have significant social value?
Are they charming? Attractive? Energy enablers? Powerful within their career or profession? Do they know where the happening venues are in your city? Does their attire confirm their worth? Are they funny or humorous (Very important attribute to attract females in particular) ?? His shoes better be shined because that speaks of initiative and drive???
The first place in the nightclub and social scene I always attacked was the bar because it allows you to peek the vast majority of females in the social setting.
If your flo is right and energy is positive sometimes females would ask me do I want a drink?
At times I would say I don't drink (playing naive) and generally people in the bar area will go out of their way to get you drunk usually.
That would allow me to have a pass if I messed-up and said something inappropriate or stupid to a female during the "convo" process.
We "ALL" make mistakes because my game initially with my wife was whack somewhat however I knew how to recover due to experience.
Less experienced men stumble and fall.... trust me I saw it a lot at the nightclub scene.
Humor will get you everywhere usually!!!!!!
Learn to disarm tensions brothers from the sistahs because our careers and lives are filled with suspense and drama at times?
Remember to make the sistahs laugh without being corny.
Now let's talk about some tactics that I used at the bar if you find value in it perhaps??????
The first rule was that any conversation I had with a female had to have a next step or conclusion !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buying drinks and talking all night without a commitment is NOT COOL!!!!!
Maintain that strong "EYE" contact brothers with the sisters and use clever tactical approaches like: " I would love to continue this conversation however I need to go now to prepare for something very important tomorrow," keep her guessing however I would love to continue where we left off?
Ask for permission put the control back into the female's court?
Before I leave "LOVE" let me buy you another drink, note: Not her friend?
After the drink is delivered I would show a gesture of affection and whisper in her ear and say I have a gift for you.
When I was single I used a stationary office supply outlet that would personalize my paraphernalia I dubbed "DEVOTION".
Real talk that shtt. worked like a charm most of the time!
Example for real quality females I would select top line lipstick rolls and personalize it with either my telephone number or email address, the majority of time it was my email address because of security.
That would include personalized matches for smokers, pens stating "CALL ME WE MUST CONTINUE OUR JOURNEY", Drink Coasters, StarBucks Gift Cards (including a personalized small card within a sleeve and invitation to meet privately; many with love connotations including my email address and occasionally my phone at home not CELL PHONE!!!!
I had a message recorder to eliminate the "SCRUBS" (LOL) !!!!!
So in recap be creative with your approaches "BROTHERS" and work IT to DEATH!!!!
Finally let's go down this road on seeking a quality mate.
When I was single rejection was always a chance for SUCCESS, don't faint and get weary !
Stay -up and keep it moving babe !!
Now I like very attractive women that is a weakness of mines, however is the best looking female you've ever seen is she the ONE?
Maybe, but maybe not.....
Seek a "DIME" that is multi-dimensional because she must have more than just looks.
Some of the females that I dated I had to cut them because a few of them embarrassed me in a few social interactions.
Seek a "QUALITY FEMALE" that is gorgeous, intelligent, trustworthy, and down to earth, has a diverse conversation piece, simply a 'STAR' if you will.
That is what you really want, a female that is beautiful as well as secure in herself that she will not cheat on you or embarrass you in front of people by making inappropriate comments or gestures.
But Brothers you on the other hand have to prove that you are a quality man and that takes SKILL.
You need to excel in more than one area and always sharpen your "mouthpiece".
Be a walking example of attending diverse venues and activities and be prepared to talk about diverse subject matters.
You will be perceived as confident and strong and trust me that is what females like the most about quality men outside of physical attractiveness.
So if you want a "QUALITY" female you must put in the work, you must stand superior in your lifestyle beyond the average dude out there.
Be creative and have fun and show the female that you are dedicated to your "SKILL or GAME" and actually enjoy it.
The world is YOURS go out there and GET IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, January 10th 2015 at 4:36PM
Yaiqab Saint
