When Loneliness Threatens Your Marriage (1733 hits)
It's one thing to be lonely when you are single, wondering if and when God will ever bring the right guy. It's another matter for your heart to ache with loneliness when the "right guy" is living in your home and sleeping in your bed. If this is your reality, please know that you are not alone. Behind the façade of busyness and family life, many married women are desperately lonely. Marriage books are filled with advice on how to bridge the chasm between you and your husband. Working to resolve conflicts, finding common interests, and learning to date your husband are all practical suggestions that can make a difference in your marriage. However, there are some marriages in which no strategies appear to make a difference. It may even seem like you and your husband are destined to merely share space and live as distant roommates.
Loneliness is perhaps the deepest ache our souls can experience. The grief of losing a loved one, the fear of abandonment, and the sting of rejected love all tap into the same bedrock fear: I am all alone.
Feeling lonely in marriage exposes subtle lies we've believed—lies like:
•If only you find "Prince Charming," you'll never have to be alone.
This (lonliness) is by far very common in marriages and its probably because couples take one another for granted especially when the kids come along... parents especially mothers spend alot of time being attentive to them rather than each other. Once the kids are out of the home neither parent has any idea what happened to their relationship. All during the while the fathers have replaced their focus with other stuff (like financing children's private school, extracuricular activities, work, and all too often s*x outside marriage, etc, ... ) since the wife main focus the children.
It can be a tough balancing act that many all too, often fail to achieve. I know for me personally, its tough. Many things are different after over a decade of marriage, but with many self help books, blogging with others, and my prayer partner's praying about our homes and others... things are maintaining... although I would be disingenuine if I didn't say that there's always room for improvement.