I hope all is well with you. I’m writing you in genuine concern and interest for your well being. You possess tremendous amounts of untapped potential and greatness that you have yet to discover about yourself. I’ve been in many of the same situations you’re going through now, and you are probably going through some I haven’t.
Everything I’m saying to you in this letter is out of love, because some of you never knew your father, or was abandoned by your father. I understand the adversities in the search for manhood. Your big brother is just taking time out of his schedule to pause and holla at ya. I’m going to tell you some things that no rapper is going to tell you even after 6 full length albums and 100 interviews. First, do everything you can to save as much money as possible. There will come a time a few years from now when you want or need to purchase, invest, or start your own business. Some point in time you are going to want to marry the woman you dreamt of and start a family with her, and that requires savings. Don’t waste your money on clothes, jewelry, drugs, alcohol and other nonsense. I did that in my teenage to college years and I don’t wear any of those clothes or jewelry now, and I no longer enjoy the effects of liquor and weed we drank and smoked. To be even more honest I lost 2 of my best friends in a drunk driven accident. I know if I was to calculate every dollar spent on fashion trends from highschool to graduate school, I would have tens of thousands of dollars. I’m doing pretty good financially now, but I would have been better if I had listened to my mom telling me to save my money, but I tried to keep up with the trends.
Second, respect your body man. You get one body, there ain’t no remix on life (that’s an AZ quote). Years of alcohol abuse, weed, ecstasy, and all other kind of drugs will take their toll on you. I’ve seen so many friends from college that look older than they are. You also want to be healthy enough to enjoy your family and be healthy enough to be an active parent in your child’s life. You also don’t want to be a financial burden on your family by being chronically ill. Make sure you refrain from unprotected s*x. You don’t want to cut your life short by getting a disease that is incurable and physically destructive. Many women won’t tell you they’re infected, and some don’t even know they are infected and will infect you. Buy and use your own c*ndoms, don’t let a female give you a c*ndom. It is good that she is making the right and kind gesture, but you don’t know if the c*ndom is tampered with. If you choose to engage in s*x, a real man will get tested and get his girl tested for STDs. Get tested with any female you get serious with, and if she refuses, leave her.
You won’t get along with every girl you date. Some relationships will be all mental, some women will teach you things and change you forever, some will just be pure physical attraction, and you will also have spiritual connections. However, never ever, ever, ever, ever, put your hands on a woman. When you find yourself mad enough to get physical, just leave the relationship alone and quit it. You never want to be in that position. Never stay in a relationship with a woman that will push you to the point of physical force. You will end up in jail and ruin your record, ruin your gentleman reputation, deal with repercussions from the men on her side, and that’s just not love. There is a difference between a disagreement and physical aggression.
Also, if you meet a woman you really love and she loves and respects you, don’t hesitate to say ” I love you”, and express how you feel. A coward holds his feelings and is scared to act on them.
Be careful in these streets man. Society has a perception of young black men and many are looking for any reason to kill you or incarcerate you. Be conscious of your appearance, I know you’re not a thug, but if you fit the look that society sees, they will act on that perception. Les Brown said “how you dress determines how you’re addressed”. Carry yourself respectfully, talk with meaning and purpose. Don’t worry about people saying you are talking proper. One of the coldest and realest men I admire, Malcolm X, commanded the American vocabulary and could out debate anybody.
Having a child is no joke at all. As a young man, I know there are adventures, dreams, and just plain young fun you want to have. When you have a child, that will force you into adulthood, and all those adventures and fun will be put on delay. Babies are expensive man, you have to provide food, housing, daycare, education, and health insurance until that baby is your age and older. I don’t even want to mention the amount money you will spend in child support if things don’t workout between you and the mother of your child. You should not have to experience this at a young age, enjoy your youth. Always think with logic first and not emotions. Remember that all emotions are temporary, but some results are permanent so always think about your decisions. Always,…….. planning is key.
Think about your future and take responsibility for it early. Increase your reading and knowledge about any and everything. School doesn’t stop when 3:30 bell rings. Try reading a book a month, if you read 10 pages a day, that is a 300-310 page book. In 4 years you would have read 48 books that can turn you into a king. At my age I learned that knowledge is everything. The famous quote, “the strong rule the weak, but the wise rule the strong”, is true. Learn new languages and make friends of various ethnicities. Your country is becoming extremely diverse and you need to know more than english, believe your brother, I’m just keepin it 100.
Avoid gangs and violence bro. I know it’s hard because sometime the gang culture is overwhelming but try to stay neutral. You’ll get involved in all types of dangerous, life changing experiences you would never have wanted for yourself. Respect all men that respect you, and protect your elders.
Don’t believe one thing these rappers say. Rappers will have you screaming thug life and gang affiliations but they will not be there to take your bullet, or pay your bail, or keep your prison canteen commissary filled, fight your battles in jail cells and prison showers. Your favorite rapper won’t pay your debt after you try to buy everything you see in their video. Your favorite rapper wont take your STD pills if you catch one trying to imitate s****l acts talked about in their rhymes, or pay your child support. What rapper could have saved Biggie, and Tupac? None of these so called rappers could have saved them, all they could do is throw their name around, and write a song about them.
I used to hate to be told what to do. When I got older that made me say ” take care of your business or your business will take care of you”. The things that you should do, but don’t feel like doing, will having you doing things you never wanted to do for a long time. Make sure you get involved politically when you’re old enough to vote, because you want to have a say in the decisions about how you live your life.
Okay little bro, I’m about to bounce, but I just wanted to holla at you for a second. Be good. I’ll send you another one in a few months to come.
