The accident scene. Have you ever been driving down the road and a car accident had taken place; you may see flashing lights from police cars, ambulances or even fire trucks. Police officers are standing by and directing traffic which seems backed up for miles and at some points stopped altogether. There may be smoke from a burning vehicle. Those involved are standing there in disarray or may have a blank stare on their face; you see someone holding on family member or friend for comfort; someone may even be in the process of being placed into an ambulance with an oxygen mask on their face. On the side of the road you may see a vehicle that has flipped over or mangled from the impact of a collision with another car. Glass from broken windows and even pieces of the car are on the ground depending on the impact from the crash. As sad as it may sound there may be some fatalities which most times we are praying to God that there are none and we slowly pass by.
Now what if you passed by that same accident scene days or weeks later; all the wreckage have been cleared, no sirens and no flashing lights nowhere in sight. Traffic is back to normal and the roadways are clear but then you notice a person that was involved in that same accident standing on the side of the road and still had that blank stare on his face and in disarray. How sad you may think but many of us are still at the accident scene in our own personal lives.
The accident scene in our lives could have been some type of setback, disappointment, failure, hurt, rejection or maybe we’ve suffered some type of loss. The accident scene in our lives can also consist of betrayal or someone walking out on us. If we are not careful more often than not we will find ourselves right back at the accident scene of our minds trying to figure out what went wrong, did I make a wrong turn, did I move too fast or too slow, was I not paying attention to what was really going on. Life can clearly be passing us by and the traffic of everyone else’s life is moving forward smoothly but we can’t experience what’s in store for us up the road because we stay stuck at the accident scene.
Disappointments, hurts, the effects of failure can attack your self-esteem if you allow them too, someone who you trusted and you thought that they had your best interest hurting you do not feel good, I know because I’ve experienced it. I have failed so many times I’ve lost count, I have lost jobs, been evicted, live in a women’s shelter on more than one occasion, it seemed as though every time things seemed to be getting better it only got worse. Because I could not leave the accident scene there were mornings that I didn’t want to get out of bed I would say God I don’t want to fight anymore, I felt the depression and discouragement that was trying to overtake me and I would just say forget it. There were times that I felt like if one more negative thing happened that I was going lose it. What I’ve learned is that as long as I chose to stay at the accident scene; life and everything great that God had for me was basically passing me by and quickly.
The love, peace, joy, fulfillment and success that I longed for were all within the traffic on life’s road but by me dwelling on the things that had happen to me while refusing to leave the accident scene I was not able to obtain them. I chose to remain a victim and as long as I remained a victim I was not allowing God to heal and to mend the broken pieces of my life back together. God will not make you leave the accident scene you have to make that decision. In a car accident if a person chooses not to go to the hospital then that person can’t expect to receive the proper medical care that he/she needs to be made whole. If we refuse to let go of the hurt that another has caused us, if we can’t get over our failures, or whatever it may be that we’re dealing with then we should not expect to walk in the fullness of life that God has to offer. It was not easy for me to try again because of all the failures, it was not easy for me to trust again because of all the hurt, it took some time for me to get to this place in my life right now where I’m experiencing the freedom, love, joy and fulfillment that I longed for.
To get here on this part of my journey I had to make a decision to leave the accident scene and not allow my mind, feelings or emotions to return there. Right now I can say to my hurts and to those that have hurt me thank you because you taught me how to love unconditionally and have compassion for others. Having my trust abused and being taken for granted has taught me to get to know a person for whom they really are; hurting people hurt others and no one can love and respect you outside of the love and respect they have for themselves.
Overcoming the disappointments and failures and their side-effects that have attacked my self-esteem and how I see myself have taught me that I am good enough and have given me a passion to build up, encourage and motivate others. I can truly say that I am no longer the victim but now I am victorious with the direction and guidance of God. The journey has not been an easy one and is far from being complete but I am well on my way.
The Accident Scene
Three Things:
1. Life is a process and it does not stop because we do. Don’t allow yourself to become stuck at the place of hurt, disappointment, rejection etc., You have to move on and let go of those things that will hold you back.
2. Forgive quickly, too many people are holding on to unforgiveness believing that it is hurting or paying back the person(s) that have wronged them. Unforgiveness in the end hurts and destroys you not the other person. Forgiveness is really for you not for them.
3. Put the past behind and look forward to the future. The accident scene of your life is not your final destination.
