The Secret to Attracting A Mate: Look Like You Already Have One (396 hits)
by Tiya Cunningham-Sumter | on May 9th, 2013 | Black and Married With Kids.com A Positive Image of Marriage and Family
Back in my single days, my friends and I would joke about the single life whenever we found ourselves in between relationships. It always seemed more challenging to connect with a potential mate when we didn’t have one. Whenever we were in a relationship is when we seemed to attract the most men. We often wondered what exactly it was that made us more appealing/attractive to another person once we were involved. And on the other hand we questioned why no one looked our way when we were single and available.
Finally, after brainstorming why this happened, we discovered and began using the term the “look of love”. It made so much sense. If you aren’t familiar with the term “look of love”, allow me to break it down. For the most part, when someone is in a love relationship and it’s going well, they are happy. People who are happy do things differently. They feel better about themselves, maintain their appearance, actually display a glow and are more confident. My friends and I totally bought into the “look of love” concept.
People are attracted to the happier us. Who wouldn’t want to be around someone who feels good, is loving life and enjoying themselves. Healthy relationships feel great. They affect other areas of our lives and allow us to show up in a positive way to the rest of the world.
My friends and I use to think, back then, we could only capture the “look of love” when we were actually in love with someone else. I later realized we didn’t have to wait on a mate to own “the look of love”. A relationship with another person isn’t the only way to experience love. When we are in love with ourselves, others can also feel and pick up on that confidence and happiness. While you patiently await your true love, here’s how to obtain your own “look of love”:
Don’t Stop Living
Just because you are still waiting on “the one” doesn’t mean your life has to be put on hold. If there are certain things you’d rather do with a mate, do them now for yourself and then do them again once you find that special someone.
Date yourself
Get comfortable in your singleness. Dinner, movies, and concerts can still be enjoyed solo. We are grown ups right, we should be able to enjoy, and even look forward to, some quality time alone.
Take pride in you
Everywhere you go, look good. When you look good, you feel good and confidence just exudes from your being. Don’t you immediately take notice of the confidence in others? Create that “look of love” by eating right, exercising and doing all the things that make you feel your best and look even better.
Stress less and shift your focus
That special man or woman will come, but they won’t come any faster by worrying about it. Stressing and making finding a mate your life’s purpose can come across as desperate. Desperation is not attractive and will send a potential partner running in the opposite direction. Your primary focus should be enjoying this one and only life we were blessed with. When a mate does arrive, they can come along for the ride, but the ride should still be moving without them.
The “look of love” appears when love is present. Remember, that love can come from the beautiful relationship you’ve created with yourself.
What other ways of obtaining the look of love did we miss? Singles, do you have the look of love?
About the author
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing, and a Career Coach/Trainer. She helps couples and individuals rewrite their life to reflect their dreams. Tiya was recently featured in Ebony Magazine and on the Michael Baisden Show. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children. For more of her life and love wisdom visit www.notyouraverageadvice.com Website Twitter
