Faith for the Family Series-Rebuilding a Failing Marriage (923 hits)
Marriage is difficult even when both are walking in the Lord. Unfortunately, many couples today joined together prior to having a strong foundation in Christ. As time goes on the honeymoon where off and life as a couple begins. We all have difference reasons for marriage and choosing the spouse we are currently joined with but few have chosen to really walk the walk of commitment. Divorce is at an all time high not only in the outside world but even in the household of faith divorce has become normal. In fact, 50% of those who hold leadership position within the church are divorced. So, how do we rebuild a failing marriage? First, we must determine what has caused the breakdown in the marriage. Acknowledge that this problem has continued to put a strain on your marriage. Secondly, understand that marriage is a picture of our relationship with God in this life. Third, make a decision that divorce is not an option. Finally, discover God in your relationship. Because so many couples have tied the knot prior to developing a relationship with Christ it become a harder struggle to regain the beautiful union you both once experienced. But, as we know all things are possible through Christ. Now you must be honest with yourself first. Have you accepted Jesus into your life and made Him the center of your life? Next, have you made Jesus the center of your marriage? The final question is Have you surrender your marriage to God? If not, then don’t wait for your spouse to do it take the initiative and begin the process of developing a relationship with the Father. In the process of building your relationship as an individual with the Father start asking God to help you with your marriage. Surrender your marriage unto the Lord. One of the things I learned in my own marriage during the difficult times is that I had a selfish perspective of my marriage. No matter what it was all his fault. My conversation look something like this. Lord, it’s that man you gave me! If only he would just do this or that. He never listens, he is mean, unbearable fix him Lord, fix him or I am leaving. Well, let me tell you I had a wake up call when the voice of the Lord said out loud to me, you are asking the wrong thing. Furthermore, you are behaving and reacting in the wrong manner. Check your hear daughter. Well I was not pleased with that response no way! Suddenly, I stopped to listen to the Father I mean really listen. It wasn’t anyone fault. So I ask God what is the right prayer for my marriage. I was devastated at the response. He said, daughter the right response is to praise your husband right now. The right prayer is God make me into the wife (spouse) that he needs me to be. My husband and I have always seen things from a different perspective. Our communication language was on the opposite ends, We were speaking the same language, we were not like-minded because each of us was too busy trying to make our spouse into the image we wanted them to be instead of embracing the person they are right now in front of us. In that moment, I fell to my knees and ask God to forgive me for playing the blame game. Teach me Lord your ways so that I can be a witness to my husband. It didn’t happen overnight but God did transform my marriage from brokenness to happiness. But there was so important steps I had to take for myself. I needed to understand what God desired of me as a wife. We as Christian whether both are saved are not it is up to us to make a decision to walk in the ways of the Lord. To seek Him for the answer daily in how we should communicate. Find out through Christ what pleases your spouse daily. Spend some time to rediscover your relationship. Here are some practical tools to get you started.
Repentance (Acknowledge that you have not given your marriage over to God) Forgiveness- Allow God to open your heart to forgiveness and remove the heart of bitterness in your soul Relinquish control of your marriage to God. Surrender your marriage to Christ Make a Decision to control your anger React differently- This will take some work. You need to consciously think before you respond Speak Life into your marriage daily by lifting your spouse with encouraging words, edifying their spirit. Pray daily over your marriage (Pray the Word and Pray the Spirit) Desire God’s Will for your marriage and not your own Let God transform your marriage instead of trying to mold it into your image Study the Word for yourself Invite your spouse to pray, read and study the Word (if they are unwilling to formally sit with you then make it a conversation during dinner time, down time. Something like I was reading today ….. Journal daily about positive behaviors, responses and words in which you can use to transform your marriage Consider your spouses needs before your own Remember they are not only your (wife or husband) but your brother or sister in Christ. This will help you to see them from God’s view and not your own.
