Too many of us have believed the statistics that we are not getting married. I have been married for 33 years, and I get so frustrated when I see the propaganda that Black Women are the last to get married, or we are not getting married.
I have always believed Spiritually, that if you embrace the Divine Being that you are, you will attract the right person. Why would the Universe give to others, and not to you?
Below s a great New York Times article on the subject. Keep the faith!
Totally agree with you, except, I don't think it's a "failure" on women's parts that they are not married.
Maybe I wasn't clear. I simply agree with the New York Times article that I posted earlier. I think we are misrepresented in so called statistics, and more African American women are married than reported. If there is a failure, it's looking at these so called statistics, and thinking ""this is how my life has to be."" In other words allowing these reports to put us in boxes, and then taking on the identity.
I was in the media for over 20 years, so I know how reporters think and don't get the whole story. Many half-truths are out there from "credible sources," especially about statistics.
Too many of us accept statistics as the gospel. I was taught as a member of the media to ask the hard questions about "statistics." We have to ask hard questions. Where did they get the numbers? Are all of the women totally honest in the survey? Who is counting? How many people did they talk to get those numbers? What social and economic group did they talk to? You can't lump us all in one category.
So what difference does it make if we are married or not married. The point is we can't allow anyone to direct our thinking. And regardless what the masses are doing, or what the media says about our statistics, that does not have to our individual reality. That's not New Age, that's a fact.
Wednesday, December 14th 2011 at 11:22PM
Janet Jackson
Oh my this is such an interesting discussion. I was looking at your blog last night Janet and I wasn't able to comment because of the lateness of the hour; however, today I am fresh and ready to talk! It's interesting that Black women are more hopeless over our own situation like JeanetMarie. Who better to get us out of a rut than ourselves because we feel the affect of the situation the most. If I were you (JeanetMarie) , I'd blow the top right off that box your're in. There is no shortage of MEN especially Black men if you think about how many men of African origin are in the world from the Motherland. They are strong and great providers for their family. I really don't understand why we as Black women keep limiting ourselves to the few pickings of Black American men who don't know how to appreciate us because they have inner resentment from being raised without fathers (many of them).
The best thing I have ever did was take the lid off my box to realize that God has no shortage of good men on the Planet Earth. He knows where each good man is and He can be trusted to have ones' paths cross anywhere on the Globe with one of those good men. That's what I did... took the lid right off and realized that just as African women were sought after by the Masters back then, Black women are still a hot commodity now... the problem is that most of us don't realize it from the onslaught from multiple sources to destroy our image. I know that there are some women who might not agree with what I've said, but at least think about it. Why keep sellign ourselves short, waiting on Black men to want us or treat us right? That's all I'm saying.... They haven't waited for us... now have they?
You're tripping and you are also angry with issues. Get some psychiatric help. That's my best medical advise to you as a nurse. Besides, I'm married so I don't need to read the book you referenced; I'm not a part of those statistics you angry person. Look up thinking outside the box in the urban dictionary since you like reading so you can LEARN what it means. There are men to marry if Black women will get out of that box meaning looking outside of Black American men for solutions... since you didn't get what I meant. ... And you are hopeless. I'm going to pray for you with a name like JeanetMarie. Are you Haitian? Who names their children names like that anyway?! Peace!
Thursday, December 15th 2011 at 9:21PM
Jen Fad
Whatever! You are RUDE & ANGRY. Ok. You attacked me and I just gave you some of your own medicine. How do you like how it feels to be attacked? You didn't agree to disagree, you came out attacking not just me, but Janet as well. The woman comes posting a blog to encourage US and you come with NEGATIVITY like most ANGRY BLACK WOMEN do. Get over YOURSELF!! PS I know what agreeing to disagree is all about AND you didn't do that. You got offended with what I said initially and you went into attack mode. Ok...
...[ And no offense, but I must disagree with your New Age thinking that the Universe cares one way or the other about anything. (You go five miles up in our atmosphere and you are dead.) ...]
This really sounds full of Optimism & Hope. Merci Beaucoup JeanetMarie. ((Lol))
@Janet ...[Maybe I wasn't clear. I simply agree with the New York Times article that I posted earlier[. ..] Too many of us accept statistics as the gospel...]
I enjoyed the postive article and its really ashame that some of us are always quick to point the finger at the media when they show Black women in a negative light, but to point the finger and blatantly to get upset with a postive article about us is really silly. I'm beginning to believe it's true, that many us just like to whine and want people to feel sorry us and our situation. Some Black people are hard to please.
Did this JeanetMarie really write this?! ...[Okay, maybe I misunderstood you because I didn't read the NY Times article you referenced. ...]
And she accused me of not reading the book she referenced... at least I clicked the link and read the article. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black, eh? ... saying I obviously didn't read HER SACRED COW book or I wouldn't have written WHAT? She thinks she so much more than she really is and perhasp that's why she can't find a man.
I read the statistics and I read the article at the link; however, I'm of the opinion that women who want to get married should be able to marry when ready to marry rather than having to wait for what seems like an eternity on a particular mold or type of man. Sure the numbers are down for marriage overall for all Americans but marriage is still for people who want to do it.
The issues with some Black women is that many of us have to marry Black. The economic down turn isn't helpful either further complicating things... Why get hung up on one kind of man is what I want to know?? Yes, there isn't anythng wrong with preferences, but if Black men are able to see that women fundamentally are the same... how is that we as woman get stuck ... "I want a strong Black brotha". What if he's a strong Latino or Asian or African man... why disqualify the man because of preference?
All I know is that at the end of the day... statistics are numbers on paper that are known to hyperinflated for the purpose of the special interests or players. As a nurse, I use statistics but I don't make them my Bible and that's simply what I got from the blog Ms. Janet posted here.
