Is the Black Church Keeping Black Women Single & Lonely? (1953 hits)
I absolutely know without a shadow of doubt that the Black church's flawed ideology and theology (encourages single Christian women to 'wait patiently which is a code word for passively on God' to send a man to their congregation to find them) promotes singleness among Black women particularly denominations such as the Pentecostals/ Evangelicals. What is that about?!
The game of love isn't difficult (female+ male= family). Once I figured that much out, the rest was up to me. I had to come correct with my A game...presenting my perfectly made up self when I stepped out of the house, because I learned that men were attracted by appearance and nice dressed women with a nice smelling aroma. Once I got his attention, the rest was up to me. Of course I did pray and fast but I was ACTIVELY doing what I needed to do from a spiritual and practical stand point.
That praying and fasting made me wise up to see things that I hadn't seen before; I stopped sitting around the church waiting for my husband to come in there as the pastor was teaching. SHUCKS, men are everywhere! Duh. I stopped giving money to the pastor's agenda and started supporting my own agenda. ... a life mate. This is from my own personal experience from being single and lonely in the Black church.
..."Patty Davis ...46, of Union City, Georgia, has attended African Methodist Episcopal churches since before she could crawl. She sits proudly in the pew every Sunday for service and is among the first to arrive for bible study each Wednesday.
Every day is a blessed day for me," she says. "Jesus is the No. 1 man in my life and any man who wants me must seek me through Him." The unmarried Georgia native is a committed follower of the Christian faith, striving to live and breathe the gospel in her daily life. Yet, according to relationship advice columnist Deborrah Cooper, it is this devout style of belief and attachment to the black church that is keeping black women like Davis -- single and lonely. ...
Personally I believe that we put way to much pressure on men right from the jump. We need to stop seeing every man that has more than three teeth, a job, and a pension like their potential life partners.
Relationships were meant to be enjoyed, and I think we spend to much time trying to turn them into something that we want them to be as opposed to letting (excuse the cliche) nature take its course.
I say, get number uno right first. Once we're together, then the Lord will send that man (on his own terms, not ours). We need to enjoy who we are, then whoever manages to get past our rigid exterior is just a bonus.
In the words of Ray Charles, "let it do, what it do." And enjoy yo'self.
[In the words of Ray Charles, "let it do, what it do." And enjoy yo'self. ]
That's my point precisely. And I personaly know from experience that the teachings I received from the Evangelical/Pentocostal church made it seem as if a man didn't have X,Y,Z (in that order although he had it) then it wasn't God's best. ((Puhleeze)) I'm totally serious. For me, I sensed that the pastor was using the single women support the church. There is a tape series he made, "Thing to Consider Before Getting Married" that implied that it was better for people to be from the same church because they would be on the same page regarding the same teaching or as I call "brainwashing" from the pulpit.
A younger member brought that to his (pastor's) attention and during the bible study time, he did a special forum to ask long time member's to volunteer whether they had ever heard him teach such nonsense. Several brave members came forward to attest to the fact that they thought that was what he taught. The pastor acted shocked, but the proof was in the pudding pie... several people were married or either engaged to be married to people they met in the congregation.
When I was engaged, he was encouraging me to invite my fiance' to some services (when all his other efforts failed to discourage us) in hopes that perhaps my fiance' might consider a move from NY to SC. wouldn't leave. I got the HECK UP OUT OF that ORGANIZATION!!! It was the best thing I EVER did for my own AGENDA.
Black single Christian women need to be free of being locked down in the church... if it wasn't for the women... the Black churches couldn't exist. As in Jesus' day, the women supported His ministry... so this same teaching is preached in the Pentocostal churches. I've heard it. Wise up women.
