A Mom Against the School System: I Thought This Was Suppose to Be a Partnership or Am I Just A Fundraiser? (794 hits)
Last Friday my little one came home from school and told me that the kids in his class were calling him moron, dumbass, and stupid at recess (all 6 year olds). Quite naturally I am alarmed because he was sent to the office for fighting with them. I had specifically requested that when my son has to be sent to the office that either I or my husband be called. This didn't happen.
Then on yesterday (Monday), I spoke with my son's teacher, principal, and v. principal regarding my concern. I was very candid and let them know that I want my son to be safe in the school and if he's fighting because the other kids in his class are picking on him and calling him names that he shouldn't have to be disciplined when he fights back because he should be allowed to defend himself against a bully. I've instructed him to tell someone when something is wrong, but I know for sure that the only way to deal with a bully is to fight back. This is like my son's third time being sent to the office and the initial concern by those at the school was that they thought he was "aggressive".
Now with this new information about "name calling", the principal (a female) appeared to doubt what I was saying as factual and appeared defensive. She stated that my son should be able to tell what's happening when he's being asked and accused me of having to dig for the information at home with my son. What is that about?! I told her that I didn't have to dig for the information and that he told me what was said and it shouldn't matter, he's 6. Go figure! What is her problem? I emphatically stated that it matters not that he didn't say so on Friday when she was questioning him... the point is that he told me and that I'm NOW telling her; my expectation is that you look into it.
When I picked up my son, I was debriefed by the v. principal (a male) which was better for me because the less I have to talk to the principal the better. In my conversation with the v. principal, he said that in fact the children were name calling (and it seemed as if he was making a point to let me know that my child also admitted to name calling although he said he commended him on his honesty... "Whoop to do"... I think these people have issues honestly. Please tell me what that was about. It's like when I told them I make a point to sit down with my son to see what's he watching on television so as to point out what is appropriate and not appropriate language... not one time did I speak arrogantly or insinuate that my son was an angel, but here he comes back to me to tell me that my kid was also a perpetrator. I just said that I'll make sure that I keep reinforcing what is appropriate language and what isn't. I thanked him for his time and left with my son.
Thank you school system for doing your job of educating and protecting my child when he's in your care because I'm not going to sit around and let you label my son as aggressive when he's being picked on by six year old bullies! Call the other children out talk to them as well to let them know that they can't be bullying or name calling my child rather than labeling my son as aggressive. Notify the parents of the other children so that they can be on board so that they know that their children aren't the innocent little angels that they think they are. Did I mention this was a Catholic school?
Any thoughts or similar experiences guys because I'd love to hear about them so that I can get some encouragement and support?
Sister Denise, Thanks for your kind words and the much needed encouragement. Yes so true that children don't tell the entire truth. I realize this from being a child once myself. In fact, when I was picking up my little one on Friday, I asked him if all was well and he said yes. It was when he was trying to leave the school grounds too, quickly that prompted me to investigate. That was when I learned of the office visit from the teacher.
You are so right about the other children being someone's child and I wish that other parents would keep that in mind as well when deciding to tell teachers that they don't want their kids to play with my son for fear of God only knows what. I've really been dismayed over things like that and what would prompt grown adults to act that way; nevertheless, it is what it is. All I can do is what you advised, remember that the children are someone's child and pray that the parents also keep the same in mind in the future afterall they are all God's little children some innocent and some not so innocent including mine.
Honestly, I try to be open minded as well as I try to leave race/ethnicity out when it comes to things like this but after initially leaving the office from speaking with the principal and v. principal I felt like I had been attacked. It really wasn't a good feeling, but at least they did investigate the matter by speaking to all the children so as to let them know what is appropriate on school grounds. That's what I wanted, but it would have been nice if they had also notified their parents as well which I'm not sure this was done from what the principal was saying that name calling is considered a lesser form of bullying. I'm not intimidated by anyone and if I have to go to the school system again, you can believe that I'm going to do just that. The same way that I'm known to be on this forum is the exact same way I am in real life. ... I am a free Woman. Thanks for what you said and I'll be sure to keep that in mind as well in all future interactions witht the System.
You and this Edomite word. It sounds like a dirty word like the N word. At any rate, I'm advocating for fair and balanced treatment because I believe that all God's children both White and Black should be able to live among one another in harmony as often as possible. I really wish that more minorities would be able to rise to top positions in the work place to help balance out some of the inequities in many sectors of life. I think that it would provide a better balance and a more diverse culture of understanding. It's like being able to see from mutliple eyes or vantage points rather than the vantage point of one particular group of people.
I have the same challenges in the nursing organization that I work for. Anyway it is what it is... hopefully we can soon discover why these glass ceilings still exist but in the meanwhile, I'll still be who I wanna be.
I wanted to let you know that I am now known by Mrs. Fad at the school by the kids in my son's class, his teacher, and both the principal and vice principal. I am now volunteering three days a week in the morning helping with the flow of traffic when parents drop off their children to school in the mornings.
