Everyday, relationships are ruined because one of the partners did not seek a way of effectively coping with jealousy. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship has likely felt some pangs of jealousy. For some, however, the jealousy begins to take over, causing undue stress and hardship on the relationship.
Here are some tips for coping with jealousy. Find out which may apply to and work for you. It just might be what ultimately saves your relationship.
Figure Out if it is Warranted
Some people are jealous for no real reason. For others, however, there may be a good reason to feel the way you do. If your jealousy is, in fact, warranted, then the only way to deal with the jealousy is for the situation to be corrected.
If your partner is sneaking around with other people, talking to their ex-partners on the phone behind your back or engaging in other deceitful behavior, then your jealousy is warranted. Talk to your partner about putting a stop to these behaviors immediately.
If it happens again, the best method for coping with jealousy is probably getting out of a relationship where your partner lies and sneaks around behind your back.
Don’t Say Everything You Think
Once you determine that your jealousy may not be warranted, it is time to start learning to cope. One way to diminish the power that jealousy has over you is not to give a voice to it. For example, you think your partner was flirting with the waitress. Unless he did something blatantly obvious, there is a good chance he was just being friendly. Why say anything about it?
What good could possibly come from you voicing your concern every ten minutes? All that is going to do is cause friction in your relationship. When things are not great between the two of you, then you’ll have even more of a reason to feel jealous.
Pretend You’re Giving Advice
One useful tool for coping with jealousy is to pretend that you are giving advice to a friend. If your friend came to you with the exact same situation that you’re facing, what would you tell her? Let’s use the example from above. If your friend came and said she thought that her boyfriend smiled at the waitress, what advice would you give? Would you tell her to make a scene and stomp out of the restaurant? Of course not!
Figure out what the best advice you could offer would be and then apply it to your own situation.
Let Some Things Go
Some guys and girls are a little more flirtatious than others. If your partner falls in that category and you know you’ll never be able to deal with it, then you need to move on. Many people instead stay and try to change their partner. That is not fair to them or to you.
If you do understand, however, that some flirting is harmless, then you can stay in the relationship but you must let some things go. If staying means a constant battle every time he speaks to another woman, then you either need to learn to let things go or move on.
Coping with jealousy may seem hard at first, but when you stop giving in to the impulses that cause you to fight over every little thing, you might find that your partner is more attentive and the feelings of jealousy will become a thing of the past.
