Well, just a update: Last time I did a blog, I put my pride to the side and exposed myself in a way I would have not done to anyone. I think that alot of black woman or woman in genral have done this. They tend to hold things inside that they don't want anyone to know about. I dont know maybe it's myself. I know I am a strong person and I don't like to show people my weak side. It's embrassing, to say the least. Recently, I got into a situtation where I thought I would never be. I became a homeless woman. I am homeless. Words I thought I would never say. I never thought I would use that sentence in my life. wow. Now that I have gotten over that hurdle, I have been able to move on without even shedding a tear.
Since then, I have tried to stay with family. And after all the years when I was working, and living life to the fullest, I would always put family first. Whenever they needed something or anything. Now when I need they extended favor, I can't even get a hand to get back on my feet. Friends, I thought that was there are no where in sight. And whenever someone calls me out of the blue, and I get that how are you doing question, I tell them whats really going on, I get rushed off the phone by them. I guess they don't want to hear it. I mean, I don't blame them. Who wants to hear how bad you are doing? Nonetheless, I'm starting to question my God, as into why would he have me suffer so bad right now, and I am at the point now that, Lord! it's a little too much to bear! I feel that he is not hearing me. I find myself crying at night out of no where. But immediatley, realize I gotta do better. So that I can't think about my situtation, I tap into the media, social networks, etc. Because I'm always insterested in it, and would love to work more in it as a Music Journalist. That's my escape for the moment. When I really want to feel at ease is when I start writing lyrics/poetry. And I pour out my soul. It's likes medicine and the pain goes away for the moment. Or a mini vocation. I know I got to bounce up, because I know trouble won't last always. I'm just waiting for that chance when I can get back up. But it's crazy how I think sometimes, because even though family has neglected me, I still would do anything for them. At times I think to myself, "as soon as I"... I'm not, I'm not! But in reality, I don't want to know or see anyone going through what I am going through. I have a bad case of caring too much even when I'm at the bottom. I like blogging, or telling a story. It's reality, but I know there are others out there going through what I am going through. So, maybe they can relate. I know this is a Professional Black woman site as well. And even though my situtation, I still consider myself a Professional Black Woman! Despite everything else. Wishful thinking, yea I suppose. But at least I still have room to still believe and dream still. And one day it will come true. Peace and Blessings.
Hello Sister Ty and it's nice to hear from you through this blog. Life is a journey with many twists and turns in the road. When we find ourselves at the fork in the road of decision time, we look at where we need to go and not at where we have been. I must applaud you for being the wonderful Black woman you are with your honesty about where you are. I also love the way you are using your talent of writing as a cathartic to get you over this "little bump" in the road.
It may not be comforting to you, but many are in your same situation you are right now because of the economy. Although you may not be where you want to be right now, you can rest assured that as long as you have the will to do better, you can't stay where you are. Forget about family and so called friends and keep yourself focused on what you have to do for yourself. There isn't a thing in the world wrong with crying. Crying is our way of relieving ourselves of frustration and disappointments.
Cry if you need to, but in the morning know that another opportunity to move yourself forward exists. Day by day you are getting closer to where you need to be if you actively pursue opportunities to get yourself over the bump.
Monday, September 13th 2010 at 4:56PM
Jen Fad
@Jen I have to admit to you, you are so uplifting and whatever you do, please don't loose that. When I do write, I don't worry about the grammer or etc. I just let my brain and heart connect with my fingers and let it flow. And whatever I feel I need to say, just comes out. Hopefully, soon I can start writing poetry. I think I may start tonight. I'm glad I thought about purchasing a lap top in ky life a while back. It's coming to great use. haha. I apperciate you following me on here. And if you believe it or not, everything you say on here to me, means alot. God Bless you.
Monday, September 13th 2010 at 9:55PM
Tee E
