The Bucket!! (136 hits)

There was a single mother with four kids, two girls and two boys, every last one of them had different father's. They all had a distingushed look about them. That look was poverty! It seemed to take on a different shape and form when it came to the children. The mother raised her four children in a single-wide mobile home in a community where four sister's and there children and grandchildren lived, one being her mother, a place where everyone was related. Everyone had there own motive.

In this single-wide trailer no one knew what happened in the inside, but everyday they left the house a story was told. A story that other children in the community would not allow to come to an end, because the mobile home only locked from the inside and when the family had to leave they had to put a 5 gallon on the doorstep to keep it closed. That five gallon bucket cut deep so deep the oldest child had such a hatred for it, she vowed never to subject her children if she had any to such an humiliating defeat. What bothered the child the most was what was in the bucket. Emptiness! Loneliness! Desert! Bareness! No Hope! Rejection! Self-Pity! Heart-ache! But most of all the Guilt and Doubt!

This little girl grew up alone, and scorned. She had been made to grow up before her time. She stepped into Wisdom before she was ready. She carried it like a prize posession. She only knew that she was different not why she treated as a outcast. She only wanted to be loved and belong to somebody not having to compete with others. Because of her rejection she got lost in it, and was introduced to a world of dazzle and temptation. She lost all her sense of hope, lived off of spite. She has a hatred for the world and all it had to offer.

When she entered middle school. Her life had be twirled into something awful. She had been raped and molested more times than she could remember, and due to the incest that took place in that family line she knew she had to do something and something qucik. So she tired to commit suicide by taking one of her mom's boyfriend's pills, it didn't have a quick affect on her, as a matter of face she went the whole weekend with out a reaction, but once returning to school, her jaws locked that she couldn't close her mouth. While standing in the bathroom mirror she looked at herself has the tears rolled down her eyes, fear set in. By the time her mom got to the school to pick her up she was hysterical. When she got to the hospital and they rolled her to a back room. She saw this baby girl lying in a incubator fighting for her life and trying to breathe, with all of these different tubes sticking out of her. She was so small, yet she was a fighter. Not knowing that she was looking at herself as an infant. No one never told her this, God revealed it to her. This is the fight that has sustained her all of these years. This is what keeps her motivated, when people decide they want to give up on her and talk against her well doing.

Yet still she kept descending down hill, in just her 12th grade year she already been more s*xually active with more MEN not boys then she can remember. She looked at it as some type of fantasy. She kept a log of whom she had been intimate with. Did I mention she was married! After a while she stop counting, and stop having any feelings for it.

This little girl was me. Tiffany! The little girl who grew up in the raggedy white trailer with the bucket to keep the door closed from the outside and locked away what took place on the inside. The little girl whom she felt life had dealt her a bad hand and there was nothing to live for anymore. The little girl whom never knew what if felt like to have a father. The little girl who was robbed of her precious gift. I was reminded of this detail in my life on today and through it all, God has kept me! God has never doubted me, I doubted Him! And yet after all of this. He is not yet done with me yet! So what's inside of my bucket, Life, Destiny, Honor, Revelaton, Wisdom, Hope, Love, Joy, Keys to a house, Belonging, Hope and a Future. But most of all A Kingdom Mentally, Kingdom Living, Dominion. To be honest the bucket can't hold my stuff anymore, I now use the bucket to wash my truck. What inside of your bucket?? Posted By: Tiffany Myrick
Tuesday, July 21st 2009 at 1:03PM
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