You Don't Have to Take Verbal, Emotional or Physical Abuse!!! (105 hits)
My parents had a loving relationship for 40 years. By the time I was 39 they had both passed away and then began my downward slide into abusive relationships with men. I suppose I was afraid of being alone and I wanted to be loved and cherished. But I made bad choices, however God has delivered me from all my bad decisions. Below is my testimony.
I was never physically abused but I did make the mistake of living with my ex-boyfriend for 7 years. Before I go any further I want to make the point that during this time of verbal and emotional abuse I was on anti-depressants from 1999 until 2007. After losing my medical coverage in October 2007, God healed me from this so-called depression which was actually severe extended grief over the deaths of my Dad and Mom. Praise His Holy name!!!
My Story of Deliverance and Restoration The first 4 years were great but the last 3 especially the final year when I had lost my job were pure hell. He was verbally abusive. Every day was yelling and screaming. Sometimes he would come home and give me the silent treatment. He took my car and disappeared for days. I would call his cell phone but he would not answer. He refused to pay his share of the household bills. He criticized everything that I did. I felt very small. I was afraid of him because I never knew what kind of mood he be in when he came home. I lost my self-respect and enthusiasm for life. Thank God we never had any children together. He had four grown children by different women. You would think that the fact that I was in my 40s, I would have had more common sense but I guess I wanted to be loved. The only positive thing that happened during our time together was that I earned my BA in English. Before I met him as I stated previously both my parents had passed away and I did not want to be alone. He was so mean, evil and nasty that the cat that he gave me would run and hide in the closet whenever he did come home! However being with this man nearly destroyed the essence of who I was. After he finally left in November 2007 I got a new job. I started to date again in September 2008 but nearly got into another abusive relationship but this time I told. There was no living together and definately no s*x! Yes I exposed this man to the proper authorities. I still see him because we work together but the verbal abuse and physical intimidation has stopped. My supervisor and the manager know what happened because I told them and they committed to helping and protecting me. When you stand up for yourself and report these broken twisted men God helps you and places Angels around you to keep you safe. Both of these mean nasty abusive men were black. I have now started to date and be friends with Eastern European and Arab men. Big difference. No abuse. They respect me and treat me like a lady. I made the decision to remain Celibate since Summer 2007. No touching below the belt! No more black men for me. Men of other Ethnic groups are more supportive of my academic and creative endeavours. Now I just will deal with other races and cultures and see how that plays out. So far I am having fun. I now have my autonomy and creativity back. Next year I plan to pursue my Masters degree in History. I have decided to accept and take joy in being the Eternal Bachelorette: Empowered by my own way of living and doing my own thing. I come and go as I please. Marriage has never been a major priority to me. I can tolerate solitude and I am my own person. I am into Self-growth, Self-Awareness, and my creativity/talents/gifts, and my calling in Life as God expresses it to me.
PS -- I still have my cat Sylvester and we live a quiet peaceful, productive, creative life together. Love and Peace to All. God Bless. DeBorah
