This article is from mybrother.com Most independent, successful Black women have high expectations when seeking men, and rightfully so. A lot of energy is required and expended when striving for goals, and women wish to have someone who is equally yoked financially, professionally, and spiritually. This is not only fair, but expected - since most women will not tolerate supporting a man who hasn't matured, or one who is slow in bringing his share to the table.This is the most troubling problem with successful women and in particular women of color. The world revels in your accomplishments. However it is here that you begin to lose sight of the Big Picture. Is life about using your accomplishments as a line of demarcation? Successful women have even coined a new phrase “Marrying Down” to describe engaging in nuptials with a man who is not your equal in education and pay. Sure it is nice to have a dual income household with above average salaries but men tend to look at other attributes for picking the ideal mate.
Well, this is my take on the issue.... I do not have problem, actually it would be an ideal situation to be the bread winner of the household. However, I would not punish my mate for being more successful than I. I think It would be more of an ego thang. Black women marry down often because of a lack of options. In a perfect world we could be on equal playing feilds, but the reality is someone will have a higher income. If a man makes less money than his wife, does he give up his role as KING of the Household?
..."In a perfect world we could be on equal playing feilds, but the reality is someone will have a higher income"...
I think that regardless to the amount of money that men and women make, roles in the household need to be well defined. I don't think that being a man would mean that he shouldn't cook for his wife or take care of his kids. What I do think is that regardless to the amount of money women and make bring to the table, they need to have discussions on the vision and direction for their families.
GREAT COMMENT!! You are a very inteligent brother
Friday, February 6th 2009 at 1:56PM
Nile Morris
My take on the flip side of being "successful":
Oh my....I have been dealing with this for a while. I was "talking" to someone that had the audacity to tell me he didn't have any plans on working (ever) and needed me to 'take care" of him, if "I" wanted to date him. You can only imagine how far I distanced myself from that loser. He then said well I'll find a "white" girl to do it, I was like alright good riddance. *giggles*
Unfortunately this is a common mind set among SOME young men, they want to be pimps, rappers, and/or gangbanger drug dealers. SOME are just plain ole' lazy, I work very hard and I mostly take care of myself and my mom (she was widowed after being married to my dad for 30 yrs.) so when I meet young men telling me they are looking for a "sugarmama" I immediately cut them off. I don't have the time nor the finances to take care off (excuse my language) a grown a** man. Great post =D thought provoking
Friday, February 12th 2010 at 11:24PM
Locd Beauty
