Should a Woman Ever Ask a Man Out On a Date?
BY: Aesha Adams Roberts - 6 May '15 | Single
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage & Family
Would you ever ask a man out on a date? Before you answer that question, I think you should read these women’s stories.
“I picked my husband up 18 years ago! He was the first man I ever picked up & let’s just say it worked out! Lol…one of my best moves in history to date!” ~Shauna
“The evening I met my husband, we were leaving the event, we exchanged numbers, and the next day “I called him.” I knew he would be my husband the day I met him. I didn’t want to lose him. He was surprised that I called him, but he was also GLAD! DO IT!”~ Pat
“I did and married him 3 years later.” ~Lisa
“I love to take a man out. He sees how you like to be treated and realizes you care. Let the man take the lead after the first date.” ~Tanya
So I’ll ask you again. Would you ever ask a man out on a date?
If your first reaction is, “Girl, please! No. NEVER!” you’re not alone! You probably feel that men are supposed to lead. You might think that they’re turned off when a woman pursues a man. Maybe you’ve been taught that men are the hunters, and if you aren’t a challenge, they won’t take you seriously.
I’d like to offer another perspective that may open you up to more opportunities to meet men, and who knows, you may even meet The One like my married friends shared in their stories.
1. There are many different types of men
I know that sounds obvious, but most of the time, sisters have one image of masculinity in their heads when they expect a man to do all the initiating. In other words, they’re thinking of an Alpha male, the “man’s man” who has traditional ideas about what men do (provide, lead, protect) and how they do it (bring home the bacon, make the decisions, pursue the woman).
Some men, however, need the encouragement . They are more laid-back, more nurturing, and may even be shy. These types of guys typically need a nudge (or sometimes a push) in order to get a relationship started.
You also have men who can easily flow between these ways of being masculine and they tend to be more open to a woman asking them out on a date.
2. There are different ways to ask someone out
You don’t have to be direct. You can just make a suggestion or let it be known that you’re available to go out. I did this when I was getting to know my husband.
One Sunday after church, I asked him what he was doing that afternoon, because I wasn’t doing anything. He told me he was going to the mall to pick up a Christmas gift for a friend. I stood there, smiling like a big goof ball until he said, “Oh, do you want to go with me?” Yes, I said.
Less than a year later, we were married.
3. Modern dating has changed our traditional ways of getting together
Online dating has changed the way we date. For example, women often have to seek out and initiate conversations with men they’re interested in (which is one reason why many sisters don’t succeed in online dating!) I think these changes have created challenges, but they have also opened up space for modern women to ask men out without looking “thirsty” or desperate.
At the end of the day, you have to decide for yourself if it’s worth taking the risk to ask a man out on a date. You never know what could happen!
BMWK: Sisters, would you ask a man out on a date? Fellas, how would you feel if a woman asked you out?
