Is a woman a gold digger just because she wants child support?

Should a man be castrated if he keeps having kids that he knows he won't support?

[Should a man be castrated if he keeps having kids that he knows he won't support?]

(Lol))

I thought about your question again and I would say that depends on whether the father has full access to his children meaning he can visit them and that they can visit him.

Of course there are some constitutional issues that come into play when we talk about isses like mandatory castration but sometimes I wonder about men who insist on making babies that they know they will not support.

Not meaning to play devil's advocate Sister Cathy, but what about the women who lay down with these men before they truly know what kind of fathers they will make? We have to take accountability as well for some choices and decisions that we make, too. It's not just the man's responsibility.

I understand what you mean Jen but I blame the brothers sometimes because when they enter into these relationships it's just about the momentary physical satisfaction that they will receive. They are not thinking about the women from an emotional stand point and they are certainly not thinking about any kids that might result from the relationship. Most women, however, give s*x in order to get love from a man. When she engages in intercourse she is hoping that he will stay with her. When she gets pregnant she is hoping that to create a family with hin. Even if they are not married she is hoping to create a lasting bond. Many sisters, therefore, are emotionally exploitable and a lot of men are taking advantage of that.

[When she gets pregnant she is hoping that to create a family with him.]

I do understand what you're saying sis, but shouldn't a decision as important as having a baby be talked about before hand {unless of course the two people were caught up in the 'heat of passion'}?

You make some cogent points Rckey but look at the contradictions in what you are saying. On the one hand you say that both parents should be responsible for the child's economic well being, yet on the other hand you say that child support is seldom about the child but more often is about anger and ignorance. It sounds to me like you are saying that when a woman seeks child support she's not thinking about the $300 a week in child care fees she has to lay out for her baby or the $100 a week she spends for pampers, the $75 a week for baby formula, not to mention gas money so that she can shuttle the baby back and forth for doctor's visits or baby sitters. She couldn't care less about the baby's medical bills, clothing costs and even the extra heating fuel expense she has to pay to keep the house warm for the baby.

According to your statement none of this is on her mind. The only thing that she's worried about when she goes after that child support money is getting back at that man.

If this really is your belief Rickey then I challenge you to take a trip to your local family court and interview some of the women who come in and out of that building. What you will find is a bunch of single mothers who are struggling alone to make ends meet and are desperate for some kind of help from the fathers of their children. Yes some will be bitter, some will be angry and some may want to get back at that man, but almost all will be in dire need of help.

To be sure there are some "gold diggers" out there, and trust me as a family law attorney I have seen them in action, but most of these women simply need help.

The other contradiction in your statement centers on the issue of disclosure. On the one hand you say that child support should not be based on a non-custodial parents earnings. That means that he shouln't have to release any information about what he earns. Yet you want the custodial parent to be made to give an accounting and disclose exactly how she spends every dime she gets from a guy. You can't advocate for non-disclosure in one breath and then advocate for full discolure in the next.

You should also be aware that in most states when a non-custodial parent's income reaches a certain figure -usually $150,000 or more- the determination of how much one can pay in support shifts from the non-custodial parent's earnings to the needs of the child and the standard of living that the child should enjoy.

The utilization of a non-custodial parent's earnings -for those who make less tan $150,000 a year- is actually designed to protect the non-custodial parent from being asked to pay more money than he can afford.

For example, if a mother is demanding that her baby's daddy pay for her child's private school tuition the court needs to know how much the guy earns so that it can determine whether or not her request is reasonable. If he's making $50,000 a year then the request may not be reasonable, but if he's earning $200,000 a year it is a very reasonable request.

Income disclosure is there a great benefit to the guy with low earnings because through it he can show to the court that he can either not afford to pay child support at all or that he can not afford to pay a large amount of money in support.

[Just identify those worthless people first and STOP them from having children.]

I'd like to add to the statement be it male or female. One question for you though Sister Cathy, have you represented any men seeking child support from their child's mother?

Hi Ms. Wade,
I am so sorry that your husband treated you this way. At the same time I applaud your deicsion to leave this abusive marriage. I think that when we talk about child support a lot of people tend to feel sorry for the men who are involved in these situations and they completely ignore the woman and the needs of the children.

I think that as a people we are so accustomed to seeing mothers of color struggle alone to raise their children and we have watched so many of these women accomplish great things without financial help from the men who helped to bring the children into the world that we tend to get angry when these women demand held from these guys.

Of course there are bad women out there who abuse child support and commit paternity fraud. There are also a lot of good guys out there who support their kids no matter what but the reality is that some men are deadbeats and these are the guys that I have a problem with.