Update about myself and my progress, goals and experiences
Yes it takes alot of true heart to post this.
Blackwomenconnect and Blackmenconnect friends,
I appreciate your comments. I try to avoid writing what seems like a journal on here but sometimes I want to be able to blog how I feel and get feedback. Its not easy to post something so personal! Yes I love myself and yes I pray to God. I dont belong to a particular religion or affiliation. Thats a long story behind that.
As my previous blogs stated, I was downsized unfairly but Im being compensated now. I am back in school starting Monday with 3 classes and cannot graduate any sooner than summer 2010. But I will have a dual business degree finally! Just gotta have patience. Also, the first time in one year I went to an open mic poetry by myself and not only was it the first time I went alone and recited. But it was the first time I had attended one in a year.
I felt I did fine and expressed myself well. I also took the plunge solo to a mixer for up and coming politicians that was my first time! This was thurs and friday. So I deserve to give myself credit for doing this.
But thats not what has me bothered. What has me bothered is that I told two friends about me reciting and neither of them bothered to come out or give me props or congratulations or nothing! These are people that Ive shared things with since I've known them I told them the ups and downs and I told them of my new goals.
I have stopped calling anyone that I use to hang out with. I never really told anyone except another friend that my book was rejected by an editor, she was a loud mouth that wanted me to re-write it and I became uncomfortable with her. That combined with other things was difficult to overcome but I am overcoming it.
.
I have a nice thick solid figure and exercise when my joints arent killing me! lol and feel that because often I'm solo, I have to guard myself because I run into people who dont have my best interests in mind or who are threatened in some way or want to take advantage of my vulnerability or just act funny to me. I do have a wall up but still open in a way that Im comfortable.
Yes I pray to God Yes I have tried what you call "therapy" but to no avail. Advice: Keep going out and it will come. I have tried several online sites and out there its the same thing!!!I do all I can do for myself on my strength and pride and standards including trying to go to new events and new events solo but I am bothered by those who seem intimidated that I go there and speak confidently even when anxious and that my style of writing is a little different from the masses so some people men and women act like they dont know how how to take me or get me.
I have bitterness but I try to be upbeat when Im out, I definitely look like I respect myself and look like I have some sense or some class. I even initiating conversations at the mixer. The good thing is I'm getting out to some new and quality events. Im gonna keep doing me.
Blackwomenconnect and Blackmenconnect friends,
I appreciate your comments. I try to avoid writing what seems like a journal on here but sometimes I want to be able to blog how I feel and get feedback. Its not easy to post something so personal! Yes I love myself and yes I pray to God. I dont belong to a particular religion or affiliation. Thats a long story behind that.
As my previous blogs stated, I was downsized unfairly but Im being compensated now. I am back in school starting Monday with 3 classes and cannot graduate any sooner than summer 2010. But I will have a dual business degree finally! Just gotta have patience. Also, the first time in one year I went to an open mic poetry by myself and not only was it the first time I went alone and recited. But it was the first time I had attended one in a year.
I felt I did fine and expressed myself well. I also took the plunge solo to a mixer for up and coming politicians that was my first time! This was thurs and friday. So I deserve to give myself credit for doing this.
But thats not what has me bothered. What has me bothered is that I told two friends about me reciting and neither of them bothered to come out or give me props or congratulations or nothing! These are people that Ive shared things with since I've known them I told them the ups and downs and I told them of my new goals.
I have stopped calling anyone that I use to hang out with. I never really told anyone except another friend that my book was rejected by an editor, she was a loud mouth that wanted me to re-write it and I became uncomfortable with her. That combined with other things was difficult to overcome but I am overcoming it.
.
I have a nice thick solid figure and exercise when my joints arent killing me! lol and feel that because often I'm solo, I have to guard myself because I run into people who dont have my best interests in mind or who are threatened in some way or want to take advantage of my vulnerability or just act funny to me. I do have a wall up but still open in a way that Im comfortable.
Yes I pray to God Yes I have tried what you call "therapy" but to no avail. Advice: Keep going out and it will come. I have tried several online sites and out there its the same thing!!!I do all I can do for myself on my strength and pride and standards including trying to go to new events and new events solo but I am bothered by those who seem intimidated that I go there and speak confidently even when anxious and that my style of writing is a little different from the masses so some people men and women act like they dont know how how to take me or get me.
I have bitterness but I try to be upbeat when Im out, I definitely look like I respect myself and look like I have some sense or some class. I even initiating conversations at the mixer. The good thing is I'm getting out to some new and quality events. Im gonna keep doing me.
Sister what I have found out in this short time living on Earth is that true friends aren't easily made overnite. One must take time to study people before making long time bonds that will last forever. For the most part, people will not show their real faces. If you are patient though, I gaurantee you will me people who are sincere and supportive of you and your endeavors.