"Denying Self"

I want what I want and I want it for me. Ever been there? Talking about the real saints who are the servants of the Lord dying to self and living unto him. Ever been in the place where it seems like your life is all about someone else. You ask yourself the question what about me and don't hear an answer? Well perhaps you are on a journey to servanthood. Perhaps the perfecting in love is killing of your flesh and the me complex that has ruled for so long. Perhaps you are beginning to understand the needs of others and the necessity of prayer. We all especially those in ministry have that experience when we feel we cannot go another day of someone pulling on our spirit. It made me think sometimes that people are so insensitive to our needs and don't care what leaders are going through. Does anyone know that leaders have a life too? But it took time for me to understand that I was in a sensitive place to understand the needs of God's people. Their needs did not stop because I had some also. I had to learn to trust God for mine as I served him. I became a vessel to pour not what I would have given out but what Christ would have given out if he were here. Did you ever see God tell a child go pray for yourself? Did you see him laugh at the storm because they were in it and leave them there? No. Dying to self sounds so spiritual and it is. It sounds so holy and it is. But it is also so breaking, and yes it is!. Learning to be a vessel that God can use causes us to depend on him more. How do I speak a word that I know this person don't want to hear and will fight before I can get one sentence out. How do I lift up this person who hates my very existence and yet my prayer is the one to catch them. You can't. I've seen people pray for people they do not like. It was more ritual than covenant and guess what, it wasn't answered. The person was in the same state before the prayer. I've seen someone pray for someone else who was a babe in Christ but who loved and the prayer was answered in the same hour. Why the babe had denied self to serve God. The other person was serving God but had not denied their self. Sound critical. Not really just perfecting. We must learn how to be a better servant with God it comes with experience. One of the greatest dangers I believe to Christian living is serving. Many mix up ministry with relationship. Remember King Saul prophesied when he was displaced. But he was not still the King. The old prophet prophesied to the young prophet in the book of Kings but it did not lead to prosperity to the young prophet and it was not in line with the will of God. God was not exalted in these situations. Denying self means a death walk. Yes in this hour it is laughed at but if you look at all the servants of the Lord from Abraham to Apostle Paul they each had a death walk. It was not a laughing matter it was a life committed unto him. It was not a season it was a lifestyle. Denying self causes God to be seen more in us. It causes the light of his countenance to be reflected not only upon us but from within us and it causes people who have never tasted of his goodness to become partakers of his love. Sounds painful denying self, and dying to self but the end of it is God seen. Is it that enough of a reason for you?