I just finished reading the novel Getting to Happy. It is the sequel novel to Terry McMillan's bestselling novel and movie, Waiting to Exhale. I found this novel to be inspirational in its own way. If the novel is read with an open mind you will catch what the author is expressing and how it will resonate with you or someone you know in one way or the other. It was Terry's way of expressing how she, in her personal life, through trials and tribulations, had to let go of some things in her own journey in order to get to this place of happiness.
Without giving away what takes place in the novel, here is my review of it. It picks up 15 years later from its debut with each of the original characters, Bernadine, Savannah, Robin and Gloria. If you have never read Waiting to Exhale, I would suggest that you read it or watch the movie before you read Getting to Happy, or you will miss some key elements of what the author is trying to convey with the characters as their lives have changed over the past 15 years.
Each of the women have experienced significant changes in their lives: Robin, still single, now has a 16 year old daughter. Bernadine has remarried after her ugly divorce. Gloria married her neighbor from across the street (no surprise there) and Savannah has finally gotten married. Great feats for each of these women, who had previously experienced broken hearts and bad relationships one after the other. They had all come into their own and should have been living the life they all dreamed of. Only one problem. They all realized that they were not happy and that there was something missing in their lives.
Robin is lonely and bored with her job. Bernadine is frustrated with herself and men. Gloria, who just took her happiness for granted, is now sad and lonely. And Savannah is somewhat stuck and confused about all of the concessions that she has had to make in her life, albeit most of them were the results of selfishness.
The women have come to the realization that if they were ever going to get to happiness and become satisfied with their lives, they were going to have to make changes, in a big way. As they were having one of their 'Ladies Nights', Savannah made a profound statement that caught them off guard. She said, "I think we owe it to ourselves to start doing as much as we possibly can to make ourselves as happy as we possibly can for as long as we possibly can and to hell with all the bull....that doesn't."
The women were perplexed, only for a moment and wondered how they were suppose to do that. Isn't that just like most people, have no idea how they are suppose to live their lives happy? Most people look to outside sources to find happiness, only to have that happiness snatched away when that source, whatever it may be, is no longer there.
Savannah goes on to point out that they should be doing something to help each other out. Then she made the point that sometimes, they just have to reinvent themselves. And this next statement, just sets the bases for the entire book. "Sometimes we need somebody to just tell us what to do even though we already know it."
Ding, Ding, Ding
That is something that we all can take away from this book. We know what's right or what's wrong. We know whether we're truly happy or just faking the funk. And we know the general things that we should or should not be doing to be happy. We may not know all of the specifics or even all of the minute details to get there, but for the most part we know. But what do we do? Usually we wait for someone else to tell us what to do before we do it. There is something about having that support or that encouragement to do what we already know to do.
It kind of reminds me of another punch line in the movie Maid for Manhattan when the butler tells Jennifer Lopez's character, "Sometimes we forced to do things that we ought to have done for ourselves." In other words, you already know what to do, sometimes you're just waiting on someone else to tell you to do it.
Savannah goes on to point out that each one of them should set goals, weigh the pros and cons of those goals, try it for 30 days and review their progress. Because they were all in place of 'unhappy' they knew that they needed to do something to change their 'location'. They knew that because they had that support system that would be there for them to lean on, offer advice to help them and be the backbone of whatever they needed, all 4 of the women jumped on board with this new direction for their lives. Bernadine suggested that they start by taking baby steps and then see if they will notice any each other's progress. They all agreed. I thought that was a great suggestion and one that would be more measurable. And so begins their journey of getting to that magical place called Happiness that we're all pursuing to some degree or another.
I was able to read it in one day because I set aside a few hours to do it. Overall, the novel was a great read about women who had reached crossroads in their lives. They are now learning to heal from all of the hurt and anger of their pasts and to reclaim their lives and the dreams they once had. They finally realized what it would take to make themselves happy.
When I read a book, I do so with the purpose in mind to find either the punch line of the story or how I might identify with one or more of the characters in the book. In some instances, I read purely for entertainment but most instances are as I described above. Those are just my reasons for reading. Those are also my reasons for the movies or television programs that I watch. That's just who I am and what I like. I was able to identify with the women and because I know women in my life, who I was able to identify in the women as well.
Happiness should come from within and can be achieved simply by first making the decision to 'BE' happy.
What would it take for you to get to happy in the next 5 years? 5 months? 5 minutes?
