How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable (247 hits)
The Civility Project is not calling for unity—just respect.
A Republican and a Democrat walk into a bar — a coffee bar, that is. That's the plan, anyway. But, as Republican Mark DeMoss and Democrat Lanny Davis will tell you, a civil conversation can take place anywhere. They are behind The Civility Project, which launched in January. Their goal is simple but lofty: To get Americans to agree to disagree without being disagreeable. DeMoss and Davis are calling on liberals, conservatives, Democrats, Republicans and people of all faiths to take the "pledge," which reads:
I will be civil in my public discourse and behavior. I will be respectful of others whether or not I agree with them. I will stand against incivility when I see it.
To take the pledge, enter your first and last name and country at www.civilityproject.org . DeMoss, president of his own public-relations firm — The DeMoss Group — said the project took shape during last year's election season. "I had spent about two years volunteering for Mitt Romney, and I saw a lot of ugly rhetoric and behavior aimed at Mormons and then at me," he said. "And then the results of the Proposition 8 vote in California contributed to my thinking — when you saw gay activists responding to the (marriage-amendment) vote by vandalizing churches and temples.
"I decided to launch a project where I would talk not about unity, not about tolerance, not about getting along, not about compromise, but just about civility." DeMoss' unlikely partner in the project is Lanny Davis, a longtime adviser to the Clintons who has served three terms on the Democratic National Committee. Their paths crossed last year, as Davis was immersed in Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign. DeMoss was so impressed with Davis' civil tone that he wrote him a letter. "I suspect that politically you and I may have nothing in common," he wrote. "But as I've watched you conduct yourself in the public arena, I've always appreciated how you handled yourself, how you handle your adversaries, how you show respect for those who disagree with you, and for modeling civility in an increasingly uncivil town."
DeMoss invited Davis to join The Civility Project late last year. "When Mark called me about the project, the concept was exactly what I had written about in my book in 2006," Davis said. "It was like two parallel roads could cross. He was using exactly the vocabulary, the values, the approach to political debate and disagreement that I had been using already. It was almost as if we were brothers who had never met. "Apart from everything else, we liked each other and respected each other," he said. "Mark understands that words matter, the way you express yourself matters, and the way you talk about people matters." Davis said he is liberal on "every issue" and believes DeMoss is "wrong about almost everything."
Yet, they like each other.
Jim Daly, president and CEO of Focus on the Family, has repeatedly suggested that his staff invite those who disagree with them to share a cup of coffee — his own civility project.
