What do African American Men and Women love and hate about each other? (744 hits)
I asked these questions to an abundance of African American men and women, when writing my second book entitled "Food for the Soul" and I published their thought provoking and heart wrenching responses. Not once did I hear from a black man that he hated black women, and most felt "hate" was too strong a word and preferred "dislike". However, it was quite the opposite effect when I asked what black women hated about black men. I don't know if I had been a man asking these questions to both s*xes, if I would have received a different response. There was alot of animosity and hatred coming from black women in regard to black men, which might be hardly shocking to some who read this even now. Alot of women who expressed their hatred grew up without fathers. Perhaps others had been abused in their relationships with black men...
On a positive note however, black love is still very much in tact. The characteristics and qualities mentioned by both black men and women, that they both love and adore about each other outshines the negative to a large degree. I gained new insight and a new respect towards both the s*xes and feel if what was expressed could be heard and understood between both black men and women, especially since both men and women expressed some of the same sentiments and concerns, our community and foundation and love could be much stronger.
It's hard to pin point a central or common answer to the questions asked by both s*xes, since answers varied tremendously, but one dislike that continuously usurped its head in regard to what black men disliked about black women is the fact black men feel as if they have to suffer and pay for the mistakes or discrepencies of the man or men we as women were involved with, before him. It reminds me of the lyric by R. Kelly, "One man can make one woman hate all men," or the old adage "Once bitten, twice shy." Are you guilty ladies?
The somewhat common theme I noticed in regard to what black men love about us, is our strength and the multitude of flavors we come in, from vanilla, to butter pecan, mocha fudge, dark chocolate, coffee, etc...
There was so much more moving, offensive, sincere and heartfelt answers on both black men and women's parts that are well worth examining. You can purchase "Food for the Soul" at www.authorhouse.com , www.amazon.com and Barnes and Noble, a 600 page book by Maryanne d. Brown Campbell and feel free to tell me, what you love and hate about African American men...
