why do abusive men blame their behavior on women? (4973 hits)
The perpetrator is incapable of taken responsibility for their own actions and behaviour and they try and justify their actions to themselves and to others, unaware they are actually addicted to the release of emotional or physical abuse they have just experienced.
The perpetrator will also be in denial themselves into thinking IT WASN'T that bad ladies He thinks that he can make you believe that it is your fault. That you deserve it and are unworthy of better treatment. He will convince you that no one else will want you. Do not let him do this to you. He got you in by telling you that he loves you with all his heart and at the same time he is looking for his fantasy girl on line at work etc !
He wants others to think all is well at home while he is abusing his wife and child, this pathological narcissistic abuser will not only abuser his own wife and child but his mother and sister as well, there is no limit to such a man !
These males are spoiled by the subservience and servitude of their in-house parents and incessantly and compulsively catered to by their submissive wives. Occupying someone else's home, they are not well acquainted with adult responsibilities.
Stunted growth and stagnant immaturity are the hallmarks of an entire generation, stifled by the ominous proximity of suffocating, invasive love. Unable to lead a healthy s*x life behind paper thin walls, unable to raise their children and as many children as they see fit, unable to develop emotionally under the anxiously watchful eye of their parents – this greenhouse generation is doomed to a zombie-like existence in the twilight nether land of their parents' caves. Many ever more eagerly await the demise of their caring captors and the promised land of their inherited apartments, free of their parents' presence.
The daily pressures and exigencies of co-existence are enormous. The prying, the gossip, the criticism, the chastising, the small agitating mannerisms, the smells, the incompatible personal habits and preferences, the pusillanimous bookkeeping – all serve to erode the individual and to reduce him or her to the most primitive mode of survival. This is further exacerbated by the need to share expenses, to allocate labour and tasks, to plan ahead for contingencies, to see off threats, to hide information, to pretend and to fend off emotionally injurious behaviour. It is a sweltering tropic of affective cancer."
Alternatively, by acting as surrogate caregiver to his siblings or parents, the narcissist displaces his adulthood into a fuzzier and less demanding territory. The social expectations from a husband and a father are clear-cut. Not so from a substitute, mock, or ersatz parent. By investing his efforts, resources, and emotions in his family of origin, the narcissist avoids having to establish a new family and face the world as an adult. His is an "adulthood by proxy", a vicarious imitation of the real thing.
