BlackAmericaWeb: New Year's Resolutions We Wish People Would Make (852 hits)
By: Jackie Jones
December 30, 2011 Tired of making New Year resolutions? So are we. So, BlackAmericaWeb.com has comprised a list of resolutions we’d like to see other folks make for 2012.Instead of resolving to be better, kinder, gentler, slimmer people who make other folks’ lives easier, below are some suggestions of things others can do to make life go a little smoothly - for us:
The Herman Cain Pledge for Players: I will not surprise my wife or significant other with news that I have been financially assisting a "friend" of the opposite s*x for years.
The Black Voter Resolution: I will not let any obstacle, restrictive law or any other 21st century poll tax prevent me from exercising my constitutional right to register and vote. And I will bring friends with me.
The "Don’t Make Us Ask You Twice" Pledge: I’m going to stay out of other folks' business.
The "I’ll Speak for Myself and Won’t Push You" Resolution: I will lose 25 pounds this year ... right after I have another Honey Baked Ham slice and Krispy Creme doughnut.
The "We’re Tired of Listening to Your Fake Guilt" Resolution: I’m going to stop apologizing for enjoying a good meal. A little fat is good for our brain cells.
The Chuck Brown "Bustin' Loose" Resolution: I'm gonna connect with the child within and dance on the table top.
The Sports Fan Loyalty Resolution: I will not jump off the L.A. Lakers bandwagon just because the Clippers are a better team. (You may substitute teams of your choosing.)
The Sam Hurd Resolution: If I have a multimillion dollar sports contract, I will learn to live within my means and just say no to drug-dealing.
The "I’ll Think Before I Speak" Pledge for Those Who Like Dumb TV: I will not ask ABC to air “The View” in Smell-O-Vision; I will not ask for a new edition of "Real Housewives."
The Resolution We All Should Make: We’ll be honest with ourselves and honor the Divine within. Or, for the less deeply inclined: We won't take life too seriously; laugh and smile at it once in a while.
The "I Mean It Now" Pledge: I’m going to stop making New Year resolutions.
If you make resolutions make it of something you know you'll reach and accomplish. Otherwise, it's better if you just don't make them at all.
Saturday, December 31st 2011 at 8:17AM
MIISRAEL Bride
...The "We’re Tired of Listening to Your Fake Guilt" Resolution: I’m going to stop apologizing for enjoying a good meal. A little fat is good for our brain cells. ...
I know that's right! I loathe people around me who want to keep me from enjoying a delicious succulent meal over this kind of foolishness. I remember going to a restaurant and one of my aquaintences kept apologizing for "pigging out" and I do mean she was pigging out. Ain't a thang wrong with getting your grub on.
