How many times have you thought you had a friend and found out that it was not true? The friend either wasn't who you thought or maybe you wanted them to be something they were not. As one that has a foundation in leadership (which took many years to get here), I have found that it is not the other person, but my self worth that determines what type of relationships I will have with my friends. It takes a lot to move on when it is found that a person or people are no longer conducive for where you are in life; but you hold on to them anyway. Then something happens and you wonder why didn't you listen to that inner voice that told you to move on. Building relationships with women is a very delicate process. We are sensitive and need to treat each other well. Sometimes because one may not have a strong sense of self, they may try to tear you down to make themselves feel better or not show up as the friend you thought they were. When you are sought as a friend, please make sure that you are honest about where you are in life and if you are up to the task. We have to take care of ourselves first, then we can be there for another. Women, especially black women, need love - for one another.
Loved your post. I agree with you 100 percent.
Friday, April 3rd 2009 at 10:44PM
Vernell Gore
Wow I agree with everything you have said, melanie. For that reason it took me a long time before I would have a best friend that was a girl. Don't get me wrong I had many many friends who were girls but I would not allow them into my inner circle. I didn't know if they could handle my personality. I grew up being a daddly's girl and as such always got along better with men. They didn't have the drama and I didn't have to beat around the bush to get an honest answer or have an honest conversation(at least that's how I saw it). With my girlfriends they always seemed to have something up their sleeve and I am slow at picking that stuff up. I watched how they interacted with each other and I couldn't hang. They knew what I was about so they treated me well and we usually had good conversations and they knew who to come to when they wanted a straight up answer. I have gotten better but I do lapse sometimes. I can honestly say that I have an equal number of best friends who are men and women now and I truly love it. Women are something else but the sheer emotional strength that we posess is something else. I love women and without us this world would not go around it would crash and burn.
Monday, April 6th 2009 at 2:10PM
crystal smith
Women are something else but the sheer emotional strength that we posess is something else. I love women and without us this world would not go around it would crash and burn.
Thanks for the note. It says a lot about a person when they can realize things can change for what is best for all.
Monday, April 6th 2009 at 4:18PM
melanie magruder
I was raised with the belief that everyone is your friend until they prove to be different.Now I realize just as you say here melaine, this must enclude your relationship with your own self also.
I am proud to say that my best friend and I have been best friends all of our lives which the both of us were born in June almost 67 years ago a few days apart and our family lived next door to each other when we were born.
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
ROBINSON IRMA
